Rayne

chpt.13

That bastard Jason was resorting to any means to make sure we lose and he gets his way. He continued.

"His Beta is the one behind the murders our pack members specifically. It's us for a reason." I took a breath, I felt uneasy about what was to come next.

"His mate Blair, she's the daughter of the Alpha of the Red Sun pack. They're our strongest ally and we need them. I've grown up with them and along the way, Blair had developed feelings for me that I couldn't reciprocate. For years, I thought I was never going to meet you so 7 months ago during the war we shared an.... intimate moment. I felt disgusted afterwards, and ashamed that I had done such a selfish thing. I felt like I ignored Fate. I cut everything off between us so she got angry and ran back and told Christian."

"Ashlyn, I can't put into words how sorry I am."

I fought my tears back. I know he had been with someone before me but knowing that didn't make it hurt any less. I gasped inwardly at the painful fact and he looked at me with sorrow and regret in his eyes. I stared out into the ocean then closed my eyes to collect my thoughts. For once, I had no idea what to do.

"Ashlyn, please forgive me. I didn't think I'd ever meet you. I was hopeless and vulnerable for years and my hormones were out of control. I never meant to hurt you-"

"Save it." I snapped at him. I was angry. Angry that he gave up on meeting me. Angry that he had been intimate with someone else. Angry that...there was nothing I could do to change it. Angry that, he didn't think I was worth waiting for. He tried to hold my hand but I got up and moved back.

"I wasn't worth waiting for?" I asked in a barely audible voice. His eyes were filled with pain. I had to look away, it was too hard to see.

"Now that I've met you, my mistake haunts me everyday. I wish I could go back and undo what I've done but please, I need you to say you forgive me. You mean the world to me and I need you to give me a chance to express to you how sorry I am."

He truly meant his apology. I was getting short pulses of his emotion through our bond that nearly knocked me off my feet. I forgave him but I needed time to think about where to go from here. I needed space, I don't think I could handle being around him like this. I cleared my throat, trying to force down the tears I'd been fighting.

"I...forgive you, but I need sometime to think about where I want to go from here.." I brought my gaze up to meet his and I instantly regretted it. He looked as if he'd lost the most precious thing in the world and didn't know how to move on.

"Are you...rejecting me?" he said with his voice riddled with sadness. I blinked in confusion.

"No! I just need some space that's all, to think I can't do that to you, to us..." He nodded, it was clear he didn't fully agree with my decision but he wasn't going to argue with me by the look of slight relief on his face.

I took a deep breath then closed the distance between us by wrapping my arms around him. I didn't know how long I needed to think but I know it wasn't going to be a quick decision. He immediately responded by wrapping one arm around my hip then placing the other on the back of my head. I was going to miss this closeness. A tear had slipped down my face.

"I'll miss you babygirl" I craned my neck back to see that his eyes were slightly red with unshed tears. I didn't want to go but I had to take some time to process everything.

"I'll miss you too." My voice cracked slightly.

I wasn't rejecting him, I couldn't. I wanted him more than anything in this world. At this point, I wasn't sure if taking some time apart from one another was the right thing to do. Before I could change my mind, I broke away from the hug immediately feeling a sense of incompletion.

"I'll take you to your car, I'll grab your things from the room." I nodded in response.

I was lost for words at this point. I knew that this was the right thing to do because without him to influence my decisions, I could have a clear train of thought. I waited by my car and I was joined by Rayne who had my dufflebag along with my car keys and my phone. He handed me everything but the keys.

"Are you sure that you want to go?" He said sadly. I shook my head 'no'. I wasn't sure but my gut told me that I needed to.

"I'm not sure, at all. I do know that if I stay, I wouldn't be able to think straight." He nodded reluctantly in agreement then handed me my keys.

"Be safe." I nodded slowly and tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace.

I climbed into the drivers seat and placed my things on the passenger side. I was aware that he was watching me and I couldn't bring myself to glance at him as I drove off. More tears slipped down my face and I let out a cry of pain.

God almighty please give me the strength.

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A/N

The song is best played when she sees him on the beach!

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Ash