// s o n d e r \\ - "the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own"
Life can be dark, cold and lonely. Feeling betrayed, misunderstood, chewed up and spat out by the world, its when I get sonder, that I...
The first time was the worst. Sat in the dark and my throat started to close up, trying to make a noise but nothing came out. Panic. Dread. Pain. I was seven, and I was afraid. My mother held me, screaming at me to stop, but I had no control over my body. "She's faking it, it's for attention" he'd say to her. For weeks I couldn't sleep. Half dead, every day. Mumbling, stumbling. Being visited in the night by the monsters that were in my head. Why could only I see them? Waking up in different places, drenched in sweat. I realised that the poison in my body had started to pour out and it had become a threat. I couldn't escape it anymore. Many years later I discovered the secret. The monsters are everywhere. In me. In you. The only way to drown them out is to put more poison into your body than you can see in the world. That way it becomes numb. Fun.
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