// s o n d e r \\ - "the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own"
Life can be dark, cold and lonely. Feeling betrayed, misunderstood, chewed up and spat out by the world, its when I get sonder, that I...
Insecurity. Vulnerability. Ripping apart and tearing me open, Leaving open all the wounds we've woven.
You 'support me' and 'you get it' and I couldn't be more grateful, But every doubt in my mind is telling me you want someone more able.
Able to sleep a full night through without waking up screaming. Able to consume a whole meal without hating the feeling. Able to have a bad day without wanting to die. Able to recover healthily, not filled with white-lies.
It's the look of irritability on your face when I don't come clean, Making me fall further into the dark, wanting to scream.
You say 'I love you' like it makes up for my lack of worth, We all know I'd be better off here, alone, laying in the dirt
But just when I think these voices and doubts start to win, You open the door and quietly creep in, Picking me up of the floor and tucking my head under your chin, And tell me that 'it's me and you forever' before you start to sing, You sing to me softly, not to disturb the peace
You truly do want me, the thought filling my lungs with air, making the voices cease.
-b.
*be with someone supportive, treat people with kindness
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