Naina, a crazy girl, exiled from her hometown, accused of practicing black magic that took her parent's life. Her unique ability, unknown to the world. It burnt down along with her parent's body. Her name itself held deep meaning. Too many secrets s...
"Naina, establish your bond with your spirit animal as deep as your skill in archery." My aunt said as we entered the house after our intensive training the later day. When she found out that we got rid of those blood sucking demons, her behaviour changed towards me. She did not talk to me the entire time, and this was the first time after twenty-four hours that she talked to me.
"Masi, it's too tedious," I grumbled. After so many months, I still felt goosebumps by thinking about the day when I first met my spirit animal.
"How many times did you try?" She pried further, my eyes darted at Ammie for help, but she ran away to her room without even lending me a second glance. Clearing my throat, I tried giving my aunt an innocent look and said in a meaky voice, "I don't know how to." I genuinely did not know how to connect to my spirit animal.
"That's okay. It's my fault, anyway. I should have thought about it." Guilty that Masi (my aunt) blamed herself for my negligence, I said something that I regretted the moment words left my mouth. "Why don't you train me now?" Damn. Workout already made me feel so drained. I wasn't ready to feel the pain I felt that day, but seeing as she blamed herself, I just could not stop my mouth.
"That's a good idea. But aren't you tired?" She inquired, offering me a glass of orange juice. Gulping it down all at once, I said excitedly, "all charged up, thanks to you!" She smiled at me and ruffled my already dirty hair.
"We've got to do that in my study." She said, pointing in the direction she took me that day. The mini-library. "Let's go." Tapping on my hand, she directed me towards her study. Rubbing my hands to even the goosebumps that formed by mere imagination of the pain and the feeling that I felt that day, I walked behind her.
**†***†***†**
"You think too much. That was the first time, so the process was hard. Your spirit animal is no commoner to connect to anyone that easily." She said, as she saw how nervous I was.
"Take a seat." Pointing at the yoga mat that she spread on the floor, she said. Nodding my head absentmindedly, cracking my finger-bones, I did as she said. I was excited to see it but I didn't know why my heart felt heavy. As if something bad was going to happen.
Sitting cross-legged, I waited for her next command. "Close your eyes, concentrate on your inner self. There's a small flame burning inside of you that wants your attention. Feel the energy that's bubbling inside your mind. Focus on your heartbeat and the depth of your mind. You can only connect with it when your mind and soul connect." I followed, just as she said. Closing my eyes, I evened my breath and zeroed my concentration on my heartbeat.
I felt a bubbling sensation, a unique feeling that something is there inside of me that wants to come out. I saw myself surrounded by electric circles encircling me. Forcing myself, I felt an energy that slowly evolved from my heart. I felt pain, felt like the room was closing in. The pressure was too much to handle. My body felt like it was on fire. The same feeling I felt that day. Suddenly my breath became uneven. I felt like the room lost oxygen in the air and I was going to die.
I knew I wasn't ready. Suddenly I opened my eyes and fell on the floor, heaving for air. My ears buzzed as if a bee entered my ears. I couldn't see, I couldn't listen, I couldn't talk. My mouth felt too sticky because of lack of water.
"Naina." After what felt like hours, I could hear my aunt's voice. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw her figure hunched over and studying my condition. Supporting my body with my elbow, I got up and sat upright. Looking up at her, I searched her face for any sort of disappointment, but I found nothing. She didn't let me look into her eyes and I was thankful for that as my mind wasn't ready for another stress.
"It rejected you." She said after a breathing moment as she took in my condition. Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked at her, confused, as I knew nothing about it.
"It thinks you are not ready to meet yet." She explained, but that wasn't enough.
"How? Why? I mean, what does it want from me?" I asked. If I was slightly motivated to meet her before, then now it just doubled. I felt its presence, but couldn't touch it. Knew it was somewhere inside me, but couldn't see.
"Ask yourself. Spirit animals are the qualities that make you a complete being. There are different spiritual animals, but I wouldn't mess your brain with that load of information. Remember, a dragon as a spirit animal means power. Your heart and soul knows what you are and so does your spirit animal. It's only after you get connected to your animal that you find your path towards peace." I took in everything she wanted to tell.
Bringing another yoga mat, she placed it beside me and sat facing me. "Look Naina, your spirit animal wants you to be strong enough to accept who you are. Dragons never fear, they never back down, they never suppress their powers. We know them for the immense power they hold. Be powerful enough to meet up with her power. She wants you to find peace. Your mind is unstable." I knew where she was going. I didn't want to talk about it. Wiping the tears that trailed down my eyes, I stood up.
"Forgive yourself. You didn't kill that baby." She said, holding my hands. I struggled to break through, but she was stronger than me.
"I killed her," I said through gritted teeth, letting the tears fall from my eyes. My heart hammered in my chest, and I knew my aunt heard it, too.
"You did not, and that's why it rejected you. It doesn't want to be bonded with a loser who runs away from her duties. Naina, be strong enough to accept the situation and learn from it. You need your spirit animal now more than ever." Her voice grew fainter towards the end, like a whisper.
"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a step towards her as she walked away from me and started dusting some dusty books.
"Be ready for the storms that paved its path towards you. Nobody can protect you but yourself. Forgive yourself for our sake, for... For Malini." She said, making sure that I looked her in her eyes this time.
Clutching my hands into a fist, I stared at her brown eyes, my mind screaming that I shouldn't pry further, but I did. Gasping for air, I looked at her in horror, as I could never forget what I saw.
"No!" I was a crazy mess. I knew I looked like a zombie, but that didn't matter.
"Future is unpredictable." I guess she had an idea about it. But... But my brain couldn't function. It was too much. I felt like my legs would give up any moment. Not sure how to deal with the thoughts that kept piling in, I rushed out of the room. Away from her, away from the fact that I was a curse. A curse that was born to kill everyone who ever supported her. I knew she wouldn't follow me. She wanted me to look at the future. But why?
My legs tapped as hard as they could and dragged my body inside my room and soon I found my hands switching on the shower. Closing my eyes, I welcomed the cold water, slapping my face harder as I increased the speed.
