𝓞𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓗𝓲𝓶

Chapter 10: Pain

"You scolded me. I'm hurt", she sighed and pulled me into a hug when she kissed my forehead.

"I can never hurt you, my love, because you don't hurt someone you want and love. And mom loves you a lot", she smiled when I sniffled in a cute manner trying to be the one and nodded before she started tickling me and we both started laughing.

Flashback End

My eyes turned weaker when I looked at her who was crying. I never want to hurt her, because she is my need. I need her beside me at any cost. I caressed her cheek gently as she will break if I will touch her a little hard before kissing her forehead. I sat and uncuffed her hands when the dark blue bruises on her skin made my heart clenched. I was hurt and I didn't know why? I was feeling the pain to see her bruises because of me.

Moving away, I stood up and looked at her while she cried silently, before making her wear my shirt and picked her up in my arms, and again she didn't protest and let me have her in my arms. Why she doesn't yell and slap me? why she doesn't hurt me just like I do? Why does she always give in to me? 

Is she the one, I want in my life? I gently tighten my hold around her when she placed her head on my shoulder. My heart was beating fast, but this time it was with the fear of the action I was going to do with her. If she has not stopped me, what would I have done? I was hurting just like she was hurting, but no one is there to help me for who I am.

A man who has a small boy hidden inside him carrying all secrets and pain, the boy who is afraid to love. Everyone is complaining about their pain, yet no one tried to understand me. I looked down at her whom eyes were filled with tears.

Mom, I did hurt someone I want and... love. I thought and pulled her closer to me when she placed her hand on my chest where my heart was and I don't know why, but I smiled a little that didn't reach my eyes and went to my room.

Coming inside the room, I walked towards the bed and placed her gently on it before placing the pillows behind her back as she leaned to the headboard. Covering her with the blanket, I opened the side drawer and took out the aid box to fix her bruises.

She didn't say anything when I took her wrist in my hand and started applying for medicine to it. I  tried not to hurt her and make her uncomfortable, while my chest was heavy because of the guilt. My eyes for the first time held pain which I tried to hide from her, not looking into her eyes.

She was looking at me without any expression and let me apply for medicine. After treating her wrists, I placed the aid box back in the drawer and stood up to go when she held my hand making me stop on my way, but I didn't turn to look at her.

"Adrian."

"Rest Caroline, I will bring breakfast for you", I said and didn't turn around when she stood up and went behind me and once again made me froze by hugging me. My heart started beating fast again at her action when she wrapped her arms around my waist and let her head fall on my back, she tightened her hold around me like she was claiming me as hers like I was hers.

"Adrian I will not ask you anything, because I know you are hurt too", she spoke in a low voice; her soft voice made me closed my eyes feeling her closer to me. The voice I want to hear every second. The moments I spent with her were true, but they seemed fake because of my confused feelings and the perfect mask I wore.

I turned around only to see her beautiful eyes I adore so much. I caressed her cheek lightly when she leaned in my touch and at that moment I came to know that how precious this woman is to me. The woman who broke my all walls, I made to save myself.

"I'm sorry for hurting you... again. I'm really sorry", I apologized for the first time in my life and that was to her. Her eyes were a little wide, her small mouth was opened a little which made her cuter than she already was. What the hell? From when I started complimenting the woman... cute?

"I-I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone there without your permission", I looked at her in amazement. This woman is really something, even though I was the one to hurt her she was sorry for it. I kissed her forehead pulling her closer to me so that I can feel her again near me. I smiled thinking that she would surely be confused by my behavior because I never showed her gentleness. I took her hand and sat beside her on the bed.

I opened the drawer and took out a photo frame; turning to her I smiled a little which made her confused. I showed her the picture which she saw in that room. She looked back at me with the are-you-sure look. "Adrian..."

"She is beautiful, isn't she? I used to tell her every day and every night. But, she would tell me, that it's not the face that makes a person beautiful but his heart. And I always used to deny it and ask dad to tell mom that she is wrong... But she would deny it, to make me happy. She loved me so much", I said and turned my head to look at her, only to see her eyes that held curiosity and worry for me which I never saw before but the pity in the eyes of people.

"How I look to you, Caroline? How much you love me?" The question came out of my mouth without my notice when she didn't say anything and bit her lips before moving towards me slowly. As, I continued to stare into her eyes that held so much love for me, and for a second I found my heart skipped a beat.

 She slowly leaned in and kissed me softly yet passionately, adding the taste we both like; softness and passion. Her lips perfectly captured mine and I didn't take even a second before kissing back her as my life depended on it. She was toxic and I loved it with my whole heart. She pulled away and breathed heavily against my lips making me realize that how easily she loses her breath to my kisses. 

"That much that even you kept hurting me, I always came to you... That much that if you ask me to take my own life, I will... but my wish is to end in your arms. There is no limit to my love. You can test me... and I will not complain."

She whispered against my lips as my hand cupped her face, looking deeply into her eyes I uttered those words asking her for consent which I never thought I would ever do.

"Then surrender yourself... Give yourself completely to me."

-----------------------------------

Purple you.