𝓞𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓗𝓲𝓶

Chapter 9: His Feelings

"It's beating very fast..."

My eyes looked into his soft eyes that held gentleness in them for me for the first time. My palm was pressed against his chest separated by just a thin layer of his shirt, I can feel his heart beating faster almost like me. "...But it does not love Caroline."

"Adrian-"

"I don't know what is it, Caroline. I really don't know, but I just know that you're only mine", his words hit my heart like a bullet and I don't know what to feel. Should I feel hurt because he doesn't love me or should I be happy that he claimed me as his. My hands clenched the shirt at his shoulder as he held my hands. The gap between us was reduced when he moved closer until our bodies pressed against each other.

"I can't handle it when your lips utter hate for me. You're right I want you for my pleasure", I looked down avoiding his eyes as the 'pleasure' word rang in my ears. If only he knew how much this word has hurt me, he wouldn't dare to touch me again. "It's not only about body Caroline, I want you for my soul, your being here near me... pleasures my soul."

"For me, it's all about pleasure", again his words brought tears to my eyes before he took my hand and made me stood in front of the mirror. He pulled me closer to his body as his eyes looked at me through the mirror while I closed my eyes. His body pressed against mine were the only thing in my head until he spoke.

"Look at me Caroline... look into my eyes."

I opened my eyes only to be met by his intense gaze in whom there was no softness but the passion and possession for me, for my body, for my heart, and for my soul. His hands coiled around my shoulder his lips move near my ears.

"The man in front of you doesn't love. Love is bullshit", he said before he placed a kiss beneath my ear as I held his hand tightly in response to his touch before he looked into my eyes again.

"For him, it's all about 3P."

"Possession."

"Passion."

"And Pleasure."

He said every word with his hand moving towards my waist while looking into my eyes and I stood there looking into his eyes that spoke possession, passion, and pleasure all about me. He was talking about me and I was sure he can listen to my heartbeat that always got loud whenever he touches me.

"Why me? You can have any other girl Adrian, then why me?" My question made him frowned when I turned around and compelled my body to move away from him even it wanted to stay close to his, walking towards the window as I looked outside with tears flowing down my cheeks. He looked at me when I turned around to face him.

"If you don't love... then why me? Why you're not letting me go? Why you're holding me? Why your heart is beating fast when you don't love me?"

I asked as tears run down my face, the more I think that he doesn't love me the more it hurts me. Adrian looked at me like he was guilty for once in his life, but his expression changed into the dark when he started walking towards me with his hands in his pocket.

"You were just like any other girl for me, but the moment I saw you there was something that attracted me towards you. And I was not wrong when you rejected me. From that day, I was passionate to have you until it turned into my pleasure. The only thing I obtain from girls is a pleasure and for the first time, I was passionate about a girl. I was passionate to mark her as mine, only mine."

He said and stood in front of me looking into my teary eyes. Does his heart don't hurt when he sees me crying? Does he not feel the pain he causes me every time with his words? He held me by my waist before pulling me closer to his body.