As bad as it may sound, I've waited my entire life to leave my mom's place. I hate Grand Rapids.
We moved here after my parents split four years ago. My mom got a job opportunity here, so she brought me and my little brother here with her. My mom's job doesn't pay the best so although we have our own rooms, we all share one bathroom.
My dad stayed in Texas, where we're from. He is a retired Navy SEAL. He lives on his own, but he has a girlfriend and she's pregnant with a little girl.
Now, I'm going to college. I took this as an opportunity to leave my mom and Grand Rapids. For good. My mom and I never had the best relationship. My dad was always the stabilizer, but since they split, our relationship hadn't made any progress, and I'm sure she isn't bothered.
My dad lives in a small town, Buda, Texas. There's a college only about 30 minutes from him and that's the college I decided to attend. Texas State University. I'm going as a psychology major.
I move in, in like three more days. I had all of my dorm essentials sent to my dad's house to make traveling easier on me. Although I had a few weeks before I moved into my dorm, I came to Texas early to spend time with my dad. My little brother, Micah, came to Texas with me. Legally, we are required to spend six weeks with our dad in the summer, so we decided to spend it at the end. I just really wanted Micah to be here when I leave.
I met my roommate on Instagram. Her name is Aubrey. She's from Corpus Christi, Texas. She and I are a lot alike. We like the same music, have similar styles, just all in all similar. She's the only friend that I have considering the fact that I've spent my entire high school career in Michigan.
"Well, are you excited" Jenelle, my dad's girlfriend, asked as we got our nails done. She thought this would be a good bonding experience for the two of us. I don't find it necessary. If my dad likes her, then I like her.
I only shrugged, thinking it over. "Sort of." Leaving Micah was the hardest part about all of this. He and I are ten years apart, but he's literally my best friend. I hate that Micah has to go back to Grand Rapids alone. Left to deal with our mom, an occasional heavy drinker, alone.
"I think you're going to love it. You may find a cute boy.." she trailed, wiggling her eyebrows. I just laughed a bit. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I just got out of one.
His name was Javi. We met when I first moved to Grand Rapids. We dated for two years before deciding to call it quits. We wanted different things in life. He wanted the military, I wanted college. The Air Force sent him to South Dakota for basic, and I chose Texas for college. We just felt that it would be overwhelming for the both of us.
I only hoped to make new friends. I don't want a boyfriend; I only want Javi. I think it could work, but I don't want to be stupid for him. Only time will tell.
We finished at the nail salon and headed back to my dad's. He was outside practicing baseball with Micah. That was his favorite sport. He never cared much for football or basketball, but he loved baseball. That's something he had in common with my dad. They both loved the sport.
Dad and Micah waved to us as we parked in the garage and went inside the beautiful two-story home that he owned. I loved this house, mainly because it felt like a home. The neighborhood felt quiet and friendly. There was a father, his girlfriend who tried to be motherly, and two, and a half, children. It felt like a family.
Jenelle and Dad never seemed to argue, or not in front of us at least. That made me happy. It made Micah happy. It made Dad happy. Everyone had their own room here, including the new, unborn child. They had a nursery decorated for her. It was a cute, beach theme. Her name was plastered on the wall in big, teal, cursive letters. 'Siena'.
I liked the name. Micah picked it out, and it grew on me. They let us name her together. Siena Jade. It felt simple. Better than Kiari Elaine. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either.
She was due to arrive in October, and I can't wait. I think it's a bit strange that we're 18 years apart, but it doesn't bother me too much. If anything, it excites me. There's so much that I can teach her that I couldn't teach Micah. There's so many things that she can come to me about that she may not feel so comfortable confiding in Jenelle about: boys, sex.
"Kiari, we're going to eat after we wash up. Dress nice."
Dad liked to dress up when he went places. That's one of the things that he and I had in common. We loved clothes. Our styles were quite different though. I enjoyed wearing clothes that exposed my belly piercing that I got for my 18th birthday. He dressed 'classier', usually in a button-down shirt and slacks. But unlike my mother, he accepted my clothing and complimented me in it often.
My dad made life feel like a fairytale. The home, the acceptance, the love. He made me feel welcome.
I went upstairs to get dressed, knowing this could be the last time we ate out as a "family". The closer the days got, the more sad I felt. Excitement lingered in me, but so did fear. Anxiety. Worry.
I couldn't help but to wonder how my life would change. A familiar, yet brand new environment with a brand new set of friends. I couldn't help but to think the worst.
