Unkiss Me

23. Hearts breaking

I was hanging out on the duyan in the garden of our mansion that afternoon. I didn't go to work that day - or yesterday or the other day since I cut my hair. I just wanted to be sad. Iyon lang ang alam kong gusto kong gawin sa ngayon - ang maging malungkot. Gusto kong maramdaman iyong pag-iisa - iyong wala akong kasama at walang makakapansin sa akin na malungkot ako.

Ang lungkot-lungkot ko kasi. Para bang nawalan na ng amor sa akin si Adan. Para bang nakalimutan na niya ako agad. Hindi ko naman kasi siya matawagan. I tried pero hindi na active ang number niya. I felt tears coming down my eyes again. Missing Adan makes me sad. Hindi naman ako iyakin pero ngayon palagi akong naiiyak. It's like there's a big hole in my heart that can only be covered by his presence, pero nasaan si Adan ngayon?

Nasa Russia, nagfa-farmville.

I sighed. If this thing keep on going, baka hindi na ako sumaya. Hindi naman ako ganito na palaging malungkutin. I used to be e very happy person with a positive perspective in life but now...

"Bunso..."

I straightened up when I heard my father's voice. Umupo ako at sinubukang ngumiti. Tumabi si Papa sa akin at inakbayan ako. I rested my head on his chest and we both sighed.

"When did you cut your hair, baby?" He asked me. I know that he's trying to make a small talk. Siguro napapansin na rin nila na malungkot ako. I smiled.

"Hera made me cut it. You know how she gets, Papa. She's a bully but she doesn't know about that attitude of hers." Hinaplos ni Papa ang ulo ko.

"Darlin', I know you're sad. Do you wanna tell your old man about it?" Malambing pang wika niya. Hindi ko na kinaya. Bigla na lang akong sumiksik kay Papa at saka umiyak. I cried like a little girl that I was. I cried because there's too much pain in my chest that time. I locked my arms around my father's neck. Mas masakit pa ito kaysa doon sa nangyari kay Samantha at sa akin noon. I was biting my life. Naramdaman kong binuhat ako ni Papa. Next thing I knew, I was in their bed. Naroon na rin si Mama sa silid at tinabihan ako.

"Anak..." Mama's voice was so delicate. Niyakap niya rin ako.

"Mama, my heart is breaking..." Mahinang wika ko.

"Oh..."

Napansin kong magkapanabay ang wika nilang iyon. Napatigil ako sa pag-iyak at napatingim sa kanilang dalawa. Nakaawang ang labi ni Papa habang si Mama ay matamang nakatingin sa akin. Then, all of a sudden, Mama smiled and muttered, Yes!

"What's happening?" Tumingin si Mama kay Papa.

"Adam, I won the wager! Ha! In your face! Your daughter's in love! She's not pregnant!"

Umayos ako ng upo. Nakatingin lang ako sa mga magulang ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga naririnig ko. Pinagpustahan nila ako? Bakit naman nila gagawin iyon? Are they bad parents? Father shook his head.

"Pinagpustahan ninyo ako?! This is my life and you two are making a wager about me?!"

"Oh, dear Casi! Shut up!" My mom yelled a bit. "Everyone's making a wager about all of you! Si Lukas ang pasimula. Nakipagpustahan siya sa Papa mo kung sino ang unang mag-aasawa sa tatlo niyang anak, and your father won when he bet that it's Ares. Si Sancho naman ang sumali sa second round - kung magkakaroon daw ba ng kambal na anak si Yto and your father lost kasi isa lang ang baby na lumabas kay Nikita noong huli. And now this..." Mom said knowingly.

"You bet that I was pregnant, Papa? Why would you think that?!"

"It's better than thinking you're a lesbian, anak."

"Papa!" Binato ko ng unan si Papa. "Una palagi mong tinatanong kung bakla si Kuya Javier ngayon naman ako! Papa hindi naman ibig sabihin na wala kaming boyfriend o girlfriend, lesbian kami o bakla kami. We're straight! We just happen to have choices. Kuya chose God but backed out and now he's all over that whoever that woman was - God I hate her1 I really don't like her while me..." I sighed. "I'm missing my boyfriend. I don't even know if he's still my boyfriend. Palagi siyang absent. Okay lang sana kung tumatawag siya. Kaya lang hindi naman." Naiiyak na naman ako. Binalingan ko si Mama.