I Promise ✔️

-Sunday, February 22, 2015-

The Paper would read, Sunday, February 22, 2015.

If someone were to ask, "What's today's date?"

The other would reply, "Why, it's Sunday, February 22, 2015."

Then the first person, who doesn't keep track of the days, would laugh it off and say, "Oh, ok. Thank you, goodbye!" And stroll off.

For many people, today, Sunday, February 22, 2015 is just another Sunday, with another date stamped on it, in another month, in another year, in another decade, in another century, and so on and so on.

For me...

Today is the day I lose the other half of me.

Today, Sunday, February 22, 2015, is the day the hospital Mae is being held it, pulls the plug.

Today, is the start of me describing Mae to others, as Dead.

•••

The doctors are giving me as much time as they can with her, holding off until noon. I've hardly moved from her side since I found out she was brain dead.

Mae and I were in a car crash, leaving her dying and me left to helplessly watch her slip from my grasp.

The doctors said there was nothing to be done, and that I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. They recommended I take all my pain and go to a church, to pray for comfort and healing to whatever wounds this loss may cause.

I honestly don't think I could...

What kind of God would take her away from me?

Why?

•••••••

It is now 2 hours away from the time they pull the plug on her.

I sit on the edge of her bed, stroking her face as tears fall from my eyes, and onto her face. I gave up on wiping my eyes, or caring if anyone sees me crying. I just don't care anymore.

Time seems to fly when I'd wish for it to go by as slow as possible.  

But it seems whoever is in charge, is against anything going my way.

So there I sit, watching the life leave Mae, as I sit stroking her face, crying.

••••
It is now 11:34 am.

Nurses have been milling close to the door, glancing in, awaiting to be needed to prepare for before and after pulling the plug.

I have closed the door, and asked everyone to leave me alone with her for the rest of the time.

Deciding it was now or never, I kiss her pale and dry lips, before falling to my knees, raising my hands above my head.

I feel tears fall as I gather the words I'll say, and then I pray, "God, if there is one, I ask you to prove to me that you care about me. I ask you this one favor, and no more. Please, somehow, let Mae live. I'm begging for you to exchange my life for hers. Let her get up, and go live her life without me. Please, make this my last request, and take my life for hers. Please... Please..." I beg, then look up, hoping to see Mae's eyes open.

What I find only breaks my heart even more.

11:55 am

The doctors mill in, and prepare everything as I stand to my feet, give Mae one last hug, one last kiss, and one last glance, before stepping back, and turning away. For some reason, I can't watch as the line drops and still, or as the doctor pull the plug on the love of my life, or as the girl who stole my heart slips away forever; but at the same time, I just can't find it in me to leave the room.

"Are you ready, son?" The doctor asks gravely.

I take a deep breath and nod, knowing fully well my voice will betray me.

I hear a faint okay before there's some slight fumbling, and then the long, everlasting, dreadful sound of the heart monitor going dead is heard.

I feel my heart be torn to two in that moment, and can't find the strength to stand any longer. Falling to my knees, I burry my face in my hands and cry out loud, not carrying who hears or see me break down.

I cry for what feels like years, until Ben comes to my side, and tells me we should go. I nod, and, still crying, let him help me up and out pf the hospital.

He takes me to his truck and drives us out to the lake.

We go in, and I immediately go up to a random room, locking the door, and dropping on the bed, letting it all out again.

She's gone...

She's gone...

She's Dead...

******************************

Edited

Tissue?