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Jeno let his back land heavily onto his bed.

Surgery.

Jaemin needs surgery.

Jeno let his hands travel up to rub over his face, his sweaty palms pulling at his cheeks.

Flashback

"Im scared," Jaemin confessed, squeezing Jeno's hand as he stared at the bright florescent lights on the hospital ceiling.

"I know you are Jaem," Jeno gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand back. "There's nothing wrong with being scared. Everything will be fine. You are the toughest person I know."

Jaemin shook his head, not even bothering to smile at Jeno's effort to lighten the mood.

"What if it goes wrong?" Jaemin let his eyes squeeze shut before his hand tensed against Jeno's. "What if they can't sew me up? Or they drop a scalpel and it pierces an important organ? Or they snap my spine? What if it goes so wrong that I die-"

"Jaemin!" Jeno yelled, his tone firm, loud and rough.

It made Jaemin flinch roughly, his hand pulling out of Jeno's.

"I-i'm sorry-" Jaemin tried to stutter with tears in his eyes.

"Never suggest those things again," Jeno grimaced, his eyes as serious as they ever were. "I never want to hear you say that again."

"Sorry...I just...im worried Nono," Jaemin's bottom lip wobbled as his hands began to shake.

"I'm worried too Nana," Jeno didnt look at Jaemin as he slid the youngers hand back into his own.

"Why would you be worried?" Jaemin raised a brow. "You've been telling me for weeks that you had no concerns that everything would go smoothly-"

"And I dont," Jeno's lips straightened before he leaned his head down so his forhead was pressed to the back of Jaemins hand.

"Jen?" Jaemin tried to lean down but Jeno's other hand came up to stroke his elbow, freezing him in his spot.

"I...I dont want anything bad to happen to you," Jeno whispered, his forhead feeling warm against Jaemin's hand.

"I dont either-" Jaemin tried to cut it but Jeno's head shot right up to look him in the eyes, his hands getting tight on his arm.

"I could never live with myself if you got hurt or if you...if you left me," Jeno's own hand seemed to be shaking a bit. "Please. Never say something like that again."

"Im sorry but we are going to need you to leave the room," The doctor said from the doorway, making Jeno and Jaemin look up from their moment.

Jeno nodded and stood up, giving Jaemins hand one last squeeze before walking towards the door.

"I love you hyung," Jaemin called out to him.

Jeno didnt have the guts to turn around as his eyes turned glassy.

"I love you too Minnie."

End of Flashback

He remembers halfway through Jaemins surgery, they called a code red...an emergency...calling multiple doctors and nurses to the room.

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