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Italics = flashbacks.

"Tom! Stop it!" I giggle loudly as he lifts me bridal style to walk through the front door of our home. We just got back from our honeymoon, but I can tell he's not ready for it to end just yet. He drops me down onto the sofa, and climbs on top of my body, pressing his lips to mine. I'm so in love with this man. He's my whole world.. I can't believe I'm actually married to him now.

"That was the greatest two weeks of my life." I say.
"Being with you has been the greatest year of my life." He smiles.
His hand glides over my cheek, and he smiles down at me.
"I am so in love with you Lia."
I never realized I could feel this way before.. I feel loved, and accepted, cared for and wanted. I feel like his whole world. I feel like nothing could ever come between us. Every obstacle that comes our way, we will get over it. We love each other far too much to ever loose what we have.

I miss the days when everything was so easy. When I was hopeful and saw nothing but a beautiful life with my husband. There were no stressors to worry about, I didn't have any idea how everything would change. If you had told me two years ago about everything that's happening now, I wouldn't believe you. When I married him, I definitely did not expect this.

There's a knock on my bedroom door, and it opens. Noah walks in with an unreadable expression. Though I don't need to read his face to know what's going on in his head right now. I know he's mad at Tom.. I know he wants to protect me but he can't with this. I either have to raise a child that isn't mine, all while raising my own kid. Or I have to loose Tom. I don't want either option.

"Do you want me to hurt him?" Noah asks. That's his way of asking if I am okay. He's not big on feelings, but he cares.
"We just need to find a compromise is all." I sigh.
"I could help if I knew what it was about.." he trails off.
I probably shouldn't, but I begin explaining the whole story to Noah. I just hope he doesn't get too angry. An angry Noah is not good. He can make some pretty bad choices.

"So he basically is forcing a second baby on you that isn't even yours.." he says.
"Exactly! It's not fair! I could handle co parenting but raising someone else's child?! I'm going to be busy enough with my own!"
I may sound selfish, but I think I get to be a little selfish in this situation. He just expects me to raise this child without even discussing it with me. That's not fair at all.

"You know, I never saw an end to mine and Toms relationship, and don't get me wrong, I still don't. But I can't help but feel like it's so much more possible now, and that's the scariest feeling in the world."
Noah pulls me into a tight hug, totally breaking my trance because he never hugs me in moments like these. Ever.
"Just do what is best for you. That is all that matters." He says.
"I just miss what our marriage used to be.."

"Just a little bit further." Tom says as he leads me into the unknown with a blindfold on. Today is our anniversary, and he said he had planned a fun surprise. Tom is normally very big on fancy dinners and things like that, but he said this year would be different.
"Okay.. are you ready?" He asks me.
"So ready." I smile.
Soon, the darkness is lifted from my eyes and my gaze lands upon one of the sweetest things ever. Candles lining the borders of the entire backyard, and fairy lights strung everywhere. A blanket laying in the middle of the grass with the cutest, most aesthetically pleasing spread on it.

"Tom.. this is... it's perfect." I smile.
"Not as perfect as you, my love." He says and pecks my lips quickly before grabbing my hand and leading me to sit on the blanket. The sun is setting and yet the beauty of the sunset doesn't compare to him. He's my whole world.
"I can't believe I married you a whole year ago. Best decision of my life." He smiles.
"Yeah? Don't regret it yet?" I tease.
"Never." He says in full seriousness. "You are always going to be my number one."

I walk down the street to the cafe and bakery on the corner. Apparently they have the best chocolate croissants which is my absolute favorite and I desperately need a pick me up right now. I walk in the door, and wait in line behind the family in front of me. The two little girls look at all the sweets with happiness in their eyes. They both point to the same one with a loud 'I want that one!' and the parents sigh. The girls erupt in a fight over who's going to get the last raspberry danish, and it only shows me more just how much I don't want two children right now. I just don't. One is going to be hard enough.

"Hi can I help you?" A girl working here smiles.
"Hello, just a chocolate croissant please." I say.
As she packages up my croissant, I watch as the parents practically tear their children apart from each other. They look exhausted. I couldn't imagine..
"Here you go." I'm handed my croissant, and pay before leaving the bakery.
My brain is running far too quickly. I want to get away from the stress, especially because it's not good for the baby, but I can't. Tom and I made promises to each other.. and slowly I'm watching each one of them come undone.

"Hold on!" I say excitedly as I jump up from the sofa, skipping into the other room real quick to grab something.
"What is it?" Tom asks.
"Glitter pens!" I say happily.
He laughs lightly as I dump them out onto the table next to the little pink notebook.
"We're writing our marriage rules in glitter pens?" He questions.
"Of course!" I smile.
Okay.. here we go. The list of rules for our marriage. I saw it from some lifestyle blogger that the key to a happy and long marriage is writing a list of rules in the beginning that will keep us from doing things wrong later. Hopefully it's as helpful as she says it is.
Rule 1. We put each other first in everything we do.
Rule 2. We communicate all issues with each other.
Rule 3. Friday night is designated movie and snuggles night.
Rule 4. Every night ends with an I love you. No matter how upset we are.
Rule 5. Be there for each other. Through everything.

Rule 2. We didn't follow rule 2 with this. He said what he wants, I said what I want, but we didn't communicate it. At all. We need to communicate this or it could end very very badly for our relationship. I walk in the door, setting my croissant down on the table for later. I grab the keys, and my mum gives me a weird look.
"Where are you going?" She asks.
"I need to actually communicate this with Tom." I state. "I don't want to loose him. We need to talk about it. Compromise."
"You're a very smart girl. Smarter than I ever was." She smiles.
"I want us to last.." I sigh.
"I have no doubt that you will sweetheart."

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