Winters (Book Five)

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Blinking, I look around the hazy room confused. I try to figure out why the table in the corner is upside down and why the lamp has a potato in the bulb socket and why the shade is hanging off the upside-down table when my attention is commanded by the curled-up figure on the floor. Walking over gently, I kneel down and reach out to her. I can tell even from the sides of her face that she is paler than normal and her frame seems to be quivering faintly.

When she lifts her head, her lips tremble and tears have flooded her beautiful eyes. Pain shoots through me as I try to soothe her, but no words come out. Reaching out to her, I run my hand along the side of her face and notice the unkempt nature of her curls and how truly bloodshot her eyes are. She speaks but I can't hear a word she says. Her voice is lost to me but I don't care, I have to help her, she's too important to not help. I cannot stand to see her in this much pain, she's too amazing to suffer like this.

Sitting down on the carpet, my heels turn into rain boots and I kick them off and sit by her side. She hands me a piece of paper and I write things down but when I try to read it back, it is nonsensical. Reading it back to her, I am so awestruck by her gaze that I stop speaking. She just keeps looking at me with her penetratingly beautiful amber eyes and the world seems to slow down.

Finally tearing my gaze away, I try to place why I know this room but I can't seem to grasp onto anything. Everything feels out of focus as I turn my attention back to the page again and finish reading it. When I look back at the beautiful woman, she looks relieved. I guess I did something correctly because her expression has softened into one of gratitude and the pain in her posture has eased as she drops her head back onto the couch. I wish she was smiling; her smile lights up her whole face and warms the empty part of my heart. But I will take her not being in pain right now.

We shift up onto the couch and the laptop screen is blank and my hands are cold. I don't know what we are supposed to be doing but I become distracted by the feeling of her curled up next to me. Her scent is soft and warm and I feel her weight shift slightly as her head drops onto my shoulder.

Looking over at her, her expression is so peaceful and the burden that was crushing her into a ball on the floor seems lifted. I grab the blue carton from her hand and slowly put it on the coffee table, not wanting to disturb her. Closing my own eyes, the world feels soft and less hazy. I did something right and she is going to feel better because I helped her and that's enough to ease the aching part of my chest.

Rolling over in bed I groan and realize that Aviva still isn't here. I just want my wife back! Slamming my hand down onto my phone, the alarm turns off and I sit up in bed. Looking across the room, my face looks thinner than normal, but I know it's just because of the weight I have lost. I will put it back on one day. I just need to keep going; this will not go on forever. We will bring Via down, and I already have a plan forming in my head to bring her down without hopefully killing her.

Plopping my hair on top of my head, I have no appetite so I opt to brush my teeth first. Carefully stepping onto the scale, I can almost feel Avi behind me telling me it's going to be okay. Slowly looking down, I see that the number hasn't changed again and tears spring to my eyes. I want to feel strong, and I don't want to have to step on this scale every day, but I need to be mindful of my health.

Eating some of the leftover fruit in the fridge, I mix the Vitamin C into some water and shotgun it. Shaking my head back and forth, the taste is awful, but I know it'll start to kick in when I get to the gym and I will feel better. The sleeping pills are hard to wake up from, but I have been getting a minimum of six hours of sleep which is an improvement. I don't feel any better, but I know I have a lot of years of sleep deprivation to catch up on first.