Ardent ; h.s.

008

Robin

"The exercises seem to doing well, he is however, still experiencing a lot of pain".

"That's to be expected especially with the stitches, besides the amoxicillin I didn't have to prescribe anything else. He can just take over the counter Tylenol since the pain isn't as bad as before".

"Alright, and last I wanted to mention that due to his schedule, our last appointment was two days ago, I am requesting him to be monitored when he goes".

Harry is a full, grown adult man, I'm positive he can keep track of his own physical therapy recovery. This just adds to the mental list of the position I'm needed to fill if I go. Just what I wanted.

Not really. Maybe.

Just a bit.

"Alright, thank you Doctor Shay. I'll find a way to reach out to him". His number is in your phone, you had the chance to type out this whole meeting to him, my subconscious tells me. I concluded the call and threw my phone on the couch.

After previously reassuring myself (several times) about working on this whole band excursion, I awoke today contradicting anything I told myself last night. So much for using all my brain power to overthink about nothing besides being indecisive. My indecisiveness then turned into worry, what if I miss out on a significant moment in my life all because I chose to stay where I feel secure? What if I made a bad decision coming along and everything just goes downhill the minute I sign my papers?

"What if I die?".

My mom turned her head to me as we laid in the sand. The blanket under us shielding our bodies from the heterogeneous mixture of quartz and other minerals. She smiled at me.

A weird response to my question.

"Oh Robin. You worry to much my pearl", you could hear the accent in her voice, her nimble fingers rubbing the gentle skin of my hands. As I looked to her, she faced the night sky, stars glimmering, scattered along the dark blue universe.

"But there's a chance mom".

She sighed. The sighing was something I grew to dislike, a lecture of words and advice always followed. I never liked to admit it, but her choices of words were all I needed at times.

"There's a chance we could disappear right now Robin, and what would we possibly be able to do?".

I stayed silent. She was right.

"Nothing my pearl. We could do nothing. Don't worry so much about the things you have no control over".

"But what if I do have control over it?". She smiled, still peering up into the endless night sky.

"Then make your situation better than what it appeared to be in the first place. Take a chance at something new".

I moved closer to my mom. My head rested on her chest, her hand finding its way to run through my hair. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, just us two.

In this moment, I wanted to hold her closer. I wanted to tell her I love her and she means more to me than anything and anyone in this entire world. I wanted to tell her that even through the roughest of days, she became my diamond rock, she held me up when I felt against myself, alone. I wanted to tell her how proud I am of her for growing along side me, an eight year old child. I wanted her to understand that even through my tantrums and cries I know she would never leave. I wanted her to know that she deserves so much more than what has been given to her. I just needed her to know that only a heart as dear as hers could give and love so unselfishly.