Homesick

♡23♡

This wedding wasn't for them, it was for the public.

Now that she was thinking about it, wasn't it pointless to run away if she ended up with Jisoo anyway? Maybe she should have listened to him? He picked out someone good for her. Whether intentional or unintentional.

Were her actions futile and she came back to square one without accomplishing anything at all?

"No." Jisoo disagreed with her once Jennie told her about her worries.

"Haven't you noticed?" Jisoo asked. "It's really different now."

"What is?" Jennie furrowed her eyebrows.

"Our marriage."

She was right. During the whole process Jennie realised how different things became too. When her father said the wedding wasn't for them, he might have as well said their entire marriage for them.

It started to become a task, rather than a promise. A chore, not a relationship.

Running away wasn't pointless. If she got married with Jisoo this way, maybe she wouldn't have fallen in love with her and instead would have thought of a way to make her father give her yet another potential partner, just to feel off about it again.

The problem wasn't the partner, though chemistry and the right person was important too. Yet for Jennie the bigger issue was the place she called home. Just after feeling what a real home felt like, Jennie painfully realised how empty it was here. It lacked warmth. All they care about is the public. This home isn't real, it's a façade.

Jennie was missing the home they made for themselves. It was much more colourful. Is this was homesickness feels like?

She has never experienced it before but she already hates the feeling. It's nagging at the pit of her stomach and springs tears to her eyes. It's a dreading feeling. She wants to lift the suffocating atmosphere badly. It's the first time she realised she hates the pressure her parents put on her. She was so used to it that it didn't affect her, she thought.

"You want to what?" Jisoo craned her neck, looking at Jennie surprised.

"Turn it into a home. This place." Jennie gestured around herself. "We did it before, we can do it again. It's not about the surrounding, it's what we make of it. Let's fill it with warmth."

"We spoke about this." Jisoo huffed out.

"I know, I know. No drastic actions, let's act like we agree with everything and wait for them to lower their guards. But at the same we could try to make it more comfortable here." Jennie suggested.

"And how? Do you have something in mind?"

Not exactly. Her plan was to act the way they normally do.

So when their mother's took them to a private shop for dress fitting, Jennie surprised Jisoo by holding her hand as they walked through the little boutique. It appeared as though Jisoo wasn't the only surprised one, her mother's eyes immediately picked up on the gesture while Jennie's mother on the other hand was more passive.

"You seem close." Sandara commented as they came to a halt in front of the stylist.

"Yes." Jennie responded, side hugging Jisoo. "Lovers normally are. Right?" She tilted her face and pecked Jisoo's cheek, turning it red in the process. The elder nodded silently.

"Can I have a word with you daughter?" Sandara requested of Jisoo, looking unimpressed with what she witnessed which confused the raven. She wanted her to marry Jennie, so why does she seem like she dislikes what she seeing?

Before answering, the raven looked at Jennie for permission and received a nod from her as she let go of her body. That gesture appeared to make Sandara even more upset as she walked ahead, waiting for Jisoo in a different room.

"What's the matter?" Jisoo asked, perplexed.

"I'm glad you came to accept this arrangement of ours but I never told you to submit to her. If you don't put her in her place now, you will always be below her." Sandara clicked her tongue in dismay.

"I don't mind being below her." Jisoo joked with a sly smile, shocking her mother as she never expected this type of humour from her.

"Kim Jisoo!" Sandara crossed her arms, unamused.

"What? Angry you can't put me in my place? Which is below you?" She rebutted.

"Don't be ridiculous. You are my child, I want what's best for you and for that you need to take my advice. You have to teach her how to act while you are being the breadwinner." She explained.

Jisoo could only laugh in response. "You should really buy a new calendar." She huffed and turned her back, striding back to her wife's side and kissing her cheeks the second she could grab her small waist.

It seemed like Jennie was just sitting at a sofa while Chaerin was looking at dresses and talking to the stylist. Knowing how Jennie loves to get involved in the styling process and is into fashion, Jisoo was certain Jennie was told to stay in the back.

"Are you not going to choose a dress?" Jisoo circled her arms around the brunette and nuzzled her nose against the cheek she priorly left kisses on.

"The dresses were already chosen it seems." Jennie shrugged her shoulders like she didn't care too much. Then she returned the hug and scooted closer. "Can I sit on your lap?"

"Sure." Jisoo said, without missing a beat. She lifted Jennie up slightly by her waist and let her get comfortable on her lap.

The weight wasn't a lot and she liked having her close like this in her arms, she could lay her chin on her shoulder or smell her hair while hugging her close to her heart.

"What did you talk about?" Jennie asked inbetween giggles as Jisoo continued peppering the side of her face with kisses.

"Oh just some old-fashioned way she wants me to act." Jisoo shrugged off. "But you were right. We should totally bring in the warmth."

"You just love how it pisses her off." Jennie slapped her thighs, grinning at her lover.

"Maybe that too." Jisoo laughed.

One thing was for sure, they would not be their obedient little dolls anymore. They don't need to. They were chasing their attention and affection, but now they can just provide each other with the love and security they were missing.