I'm all I've got

The Unknown

"I went to her grave today," I said as I lay down on the couch, tears silently running down my face

"Great, that great. It means you're making progress. How do you feel about that?"  Asked Ms. Margaret remarked enthusiastically,  moving closer to me

"It makes me feel like shit, and it makes me hate myself in ways I didn't even realize was possible," I admitted

Getting up from her chair she sat  next to me on the sofa 

"I'll never fully understand the pain you're experiencing right now, but I can promise you that it wasn't your fault. It never was, " She sighed. "Unfortunately, sometimes things like this happen, and there's no way to explain it in a way that makes you feel better. I'd say it gets better with time, but we both know that's not true." she said quietly

"You can tell me it wasn't my fault, but I don't believe it. How can you justify the fact that I didn't even attend her funeral? I sobbed, "Exactly it just means I'm an awful person,"

"I can't say it's your fault because you have nothing to do with what happened to her. As for you not attending her funeral, you were in mourning, just like you are now. And you're not a bad person, because I'm positive that if she had the option, she would have chosen to stay with you." She placed my head on her lap as she tried to comfort me

"Your daughter has arrived, Ms. Davis." One of the nannies, Nancy, spoke up, jolting me out of my trance.

"Thank you," I said as I grabbed my purse and made my way to the lobby.

"Look at my baby," I teased Ava as I approached her, arms outstretched, waiting for a hug.

"Stop, Mama, " She whined as she walked in my arms, checking to see if any of the kids were looking at her.

"How was school?. We have to get going; I have a meeting, and you're coming because we're going straight home after," I said, wiping the lipgloss from her forehead that I had just kissed.

"It was good, and where are we going?"

"That's Great,  just ten minutes up the block," I answered

I've been here in Brooklyn since this morning and earlier this week. It's currently Thursday, and though this week is with the kids, I still had to do office work which included my meetings and conference calls. And to my luck, the person I happen to have a meeting with today just had to be Zyaire.

I haven't spoken to him since last Friday, simply because I've been avoiding him, but I needed to talk to him about my plans for the pending renovations and work out the days on which I can start.

10 Minutes later

"Be respectful and no sour faces," I spoke as we hopped out of the car

"Aren't I always, " she flashed a smile 

"I'm serious, " I pointed at her

Closing the car door, we walked inside the building door before making my way over to his office door. Knocking, I waited for him to answer.

Opening the door, he greeted me with a beaming smile before gently taking my outstretched hand in his and gently shaking it as though he didn't want to let go, all while looking into my eyes.

Remembering Ava was behind me, I cleared my throat before subtly pulling my hand away from his.

"Hey, Ava, " he greeted

"Hi," she gave him a small smile before making her way to the sofa to sit down.

Sitting across from the both of us, he angled his body towards mines and blatantly started staring at me.