Metanoia

~22~ Nights Like This

M A R L I E

The calm after the storm went well. With most of my family still being here, we have been all over California. It's a typical thing for us to do when they come to visit. We spent one night going all around downtown to shop and eat. Everything my mom and loved to do. We went to the beach and did a family game night with a campfire. Though the Armstrongs aren't family, they still joined. Making everything even better.  Besides my father being a complete ass about me and Christian, I had a blast. 

Though we aren't sure if I'll make it till my birthday, I begged for a trip to Paris again. Spending time with my family and just having fun makes me want to do that every day until I can't anymore. 

Aunt Cece, Uncle Trevor, and Elijah went back home. Christian and his friends stayed around for a bit longer. They came in handy for my mother. She still has plans for the greenhouse and wants to finish it soon.  

What have I been doing to keep myself busy after graduation? I have been preparing to tell my parents in every language possible, that I don't want to attend Yale. Two weeks ago, after Christian's party, I got accepted. That was when my parents threw another party for me. They were so stocked about me going and telling everyone how proud they are of me still attending school with my condition. I can't see myself spending the rest of my life doing that. Hopefully, they will understand. 

With me being on strict medications, my curfew is for now on at eleven. That's by the time my last pill of the day kicks in. After that, it's lights out for me. 

Christian was getting tired of seeing me take the pill then pass out for hours or even minutes into our conversation. For two weeks now, I have been ending my nights with him. Only we can't sleep in the same room, he sneaks out as soon as I fall asleep. 

Later today Kyle, Christian, and Aaron are heading out. So tonight would be my first time falling asleep alone since the incident. Their destination wasn't mentioned, and I didn't care to ask. 

I woke up groggy this morning, it had felt like the pills never left my system. 

Making my way down the blurry steps and into the kitchen, my mother had already got all my medications lined up for me to take. I strangely got a quick flash that made me lose my balance. My body leans back then furrowed. 

"Woah. You ok." I can feel my mother's arms around me. 

"I don't feel too good. I still feel like I am on the pill from last night and my legs feel numb." 

"Didn't she say that was going to happen? It's only going to get worse from here honey. Do you have any idea what's going to happen next?" She tilted her head. 

I stare at her as if I knew nothing. "I don't know, let's see. My insides are slowly going to start decaying after some time. Sooner or later, I am sure the pills won't help me anymore and I am going to need to be in diapers. So yes mom. I know exactly what is going to happen next. I am going to die." I cry out and turn away from her.