Pests

Part 4 of Kingdom

        While driving back home, I realized that I passed all of my former schools along the way. Every drive I had, I realized how little progress I made with my dreams. I pulled over and looked at the school for a second. My high school sat on the top of a hill. At the base of that hill was my middle school. A couple blocks down from that, still in my eyesight bit furthest away was my elementary. These buildings looked more along the lines of prisons or community centers as opposed to the idealism and hope the should represent.Weren't schools at one point and time supposed look like they commanded respect? These schools did not fall under that category.

        I was a hyper kid desperately seeking attention that shied away from it when it was received. In retrospect, I was the kid that would always ask questions about everything, even if I didn't care to hear what the answer was. Everything was a puzzle that I almost deciphered, but never comprehended. I hated thinking about how annoying I used to be.

        Equidistant between the two properties was my middle school. This was the place where I was ostracized and alienated the most. I was an out casted minority, specifically because I was a half-heartedly practicing Jewish kid surrounded by a bunch of Mormon people. By no means was I a zealot. I practiced because that was what my parents wanted. Hell, I still don't even know the fundamentals of Judaism. What happens when we die if we don't believe in heaven or hell?

        I can't concretely say if it was my choice to be ostracized or not. Was I angry at the situation itself, or only my perceived injustice of it? This place helped me become the miserly fuck that I am today.

        At the top of the hill was my high school. Here, I outgrew giving a shit, and gave in to sweet, sweet apathy. My freshman year was full of optimism and all that new start bull that we tell ourselves. I made a small amount of friends, only to realize they were using me.

        I worked two jobs to save for school trips and to start a college fund. There was multiple times where my parents would let my friends over to my place before I got home. After coming home tired as hell at 11:45, mom out of town, dad out with his friends, I would walk in and see that my place was trashed. In addition to property damage that I would have to pay, couples would come over -some people I never met before- have sex in my bed and leave. It turned into everyone's private fuck palace. This was infuriating considering I was a virgin with zero prospects. Mom was a woman that liked distractions. If people came to the door asking to come in, she would routinely let them in, pour them a drink and assumed that I wanted to see them...that was never the case.

        It's funny how I always thought that I would be at my happiest when I was free of high school. Now I've grown to be even more isolated and the few friends I had got out of this fuckhole of a city long ago. I grimaced, and then got back in the car.

        I pulled in my driveway and saw an ad posted on a telephone pole by my neighbor's lawn. Normally, it was a lost cat that I'd inadvertently killed while I was spraying. The cat would be hiding underneath the deck, or deep in the kitchen cabinets. 4 out of 5 times these cats would turn up dead within a week of my spraying. This ad was different.

Do you feel alone? Are you tired of being left out? Are you experiencing high anxiety and use drugs recreationally? Well head on down to the basement of Olin Hall at the University of Colorado, and sign up for a medical experiment!!  After this study has commenced; not only will you finally feel comfortable with yourself, but we will pay you six hundred dollars! Call Dr. Thompson on Thursday, the 5th, and take control of your life!

    This is the same kind of universal appeal that is repeated ad nauseum on all of late night infomercials -are you having trouble getting to sleep at night? This one struck a chord with me. I could use a change of mindset, maybe it would help get me out of here.That's two days from now. I don't have any appointments; I can do that! I can get $600!