Remorse- Yaman realises all his sins.

Chapter 10

"I always have many roads to travel, but I take the one which leads to you."

-Amit Kalantri

They had been travelling silently for a good one and a half hours by now. Yaman had been incessantly trying to find excuses to talk to Seher on one pretext or the other, but every time he would hazard a glance at her, he found her looking out of the window, indicating in plain terms that she was in no mood to communicate.

The only bright side in these present circumstances was that it gave him ample opportunities to look and admire his wife furtively, without her being aware of it. He wanted to hug her, comfort her and give her the warmth she needed, though her desolate eyes battled hard to hide it.

He wanted to express through his gestures that she needn't be fearful of him or try and flee his presence. He wanted to tell her that she was loved, cherished and revered. But he knew that even broaching this subject would make her all the more wary and overwrought. So he kept his thoughts to himself. He had reconciled to the reality that she required abundant time to forgive and trust him again.

Finally, when he couldn't contain himself anymore, he asked Seher if she was hungry or thirsty or wanted anything else. She gracefully refused and kept looking out of the window.

Seher was caught in a whirlpool of overwhelming emotions. She felt anxious, nervous, but also tired of hiding her feelings and vortex of sentiments. On some occasions she had this urge to forgive Yaman completely and free herself of this heaviness and just hug him and let him love her. But in other mindful moments,she felt the need to make him understand how hurt and broken she had been by the contemptible treatment he had meted out to her, despite no fault of hers.

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It was sometime past afternoon when Seher woke up.She sleepily checked her watch, which indicated that it had already been 3 hours since they began their journey.

She looked beside her to see Yaman driving with full concentration. The moment he noticed she had woken up, he smiled briefly and said ," You must be exhausted sitting in that position for so long. There is a cafe coming ahead in ten minutes. We can have tea there and refresh ourselves, if you want."

Seher didn't want to bother him but realized he too must be worn out and fatigued, driving non stop for such a long time. He deserved to take a break too. She nodded and merely said , "Thank you, that would be fine."

Ten minutes later, they stopped at the beautiful open air café on the riverfront. Yaman came around to help her get down but Seher was out before he could help her and simply looked at him and said, " Thank you but I can manage myself."

She was feeling a bit warm so she took off her coat and kept it in the seat of the car.

They went to the cafe and requested tea for themselves.Yaman asked her if she wanted to eat anything but she courteously refused.

Yaman looked at her for a moment, as if contemplating his words judiciously and then said ," You have been weak of late, Seher. You didn't even have breakfast today. Please order something to eat for yourself. Yusuf needs his Teyze to be strong for him. "

Seher peered at him and said " Tamam. I will eat. But by the same yardstick, you should also eat something. Yusuf needs his Amca to be strong too. You didn't order anything for yourself either."

Yaman looked at her sheepishly, grinned and said, " Touché. I submit to you, Ma'am. I will eat if you do. "

He then asked her if she wanted to have anything in particular. Seher shrugged and said she was fine with anything. Giving the menu a good look and finding that their sandwiches were a speciality, he ordered sandwiches for both of them.

When he saw Seher eating, albeit tiny bits, he felt a deep seated satisfaction. Since the time he had been unrestrainedly obnoxious to her, the fact that she was getting weaker and losing weight due to stress had been killing him inside. Every wickedness he had subjected this innocent woman to, was coming back to haunt him.

Seher felt revived after having tea and eating something following such long gap. She felt her stress and tiredness reducing a tad bit. But she was highly self conscious by now.
She knew Yaman was staring at her openly. Short of asking him not to stare, she didn't know how to stop him. Of late, he would gaze  at her surreptitiously, when he thought she was unaware. She suddenly started feeling hot and her ears and face turned a bright shade of red.

Once they had finished their repast, Yaman ordered for the bill and asked Seher if she was ready to go. She assented and said," I want to talk to Yusuf before we leave. I have really missed him." He smiled and said, "Sure. Go ahead. We will leave once you have talked to our tough guy."

Before Seher could take out her phone and dial, suddenly a heavy downpour started. By the time they could get their bearings and run for cover, they were half wet already. They were mid way to where the car was parked when unexpectedly, Yaman stopped her, came near her and took out his coat and draped it around her shoulders. Seher started protesting and said, " I am absolutely fine. Thank you for your coat but I don't need it. It is not that frosty. I can look after myself.Gerçekten."

Yaman looked into her eyes and said very softly, "I know you are independent and don't need any help. You are one strong and confident lady and I totally respect you, Seher. But I just offered my coat because your shirt..y-your shirt has become translucent."

Hearing this, Seher looked down to find her white shirt almost wet and very distinctly revealing her blue bra underneath. She was highly embarrassed and tears of mortification sprang into her eyes. Yaman took one step closer and without touching her simply said, "Please don't. Don't feel embarrassed. I- I promise I didnt look. It is alright." He couldn't see her distraught like this.

Seher crossed her hands on her chest and felt grateful that Yaman was being such a gentleman. She couldn't look into his eyes and just nodded her head and said, "Thank you."

Seher was not sure what had happened to her of late. She would feel like weeping all the time and constantly felt down in the dumps. She would have attributed it to her hormones but she knew it had more to do with nursing a broken heart. And to top it all, Yaman being so gentle and loving made it all the more harder for her to be enraged with him. But she had to be strong.Yes! She would not give in to his affection and care. He needed to repent for his misdeeds.

Yaman felt a surge of tenderness and quietly put his hands around her without touching her as if creating a safe enclosure for her and said, "Let's go back to the car."

To be continued.