Remorse- Yaman realises all his sins.

Chapter 5

"Passionate love is a quenchless thirst."

-Khalil Gibran

Yaman was instantly alarmed and saw Seher's reaction before she fainted. There was undisguised horror in her eyes. He felt like a rogue, having caught her unawares and not even giving her a chance to process the fact that he had caught up with her and there was no escape for her now.

He reacted quickly and moved forward to catch her in his arms before her limp and unconscious body could hit the ground. He lifted her up, adjusted her in his arms and took her to the nearest sofa. He was alarmed by her palor and after putting her down gently on the nearest couch, he tried to loosen her bathrobe collar so that she could get some air.

He instantly realised it was a bad idea ! He could see her creamy white skin under the bathrobe and it seemed she was not wearing anything underneath! He removed his hands as if they had caught fire. He had difficulty breathing and got up to create some distance between them.

He then looked around and spotted the kitchen. He went inside and brought a glass of water for her. Then he cautiously bent down near her and sprinkled a few drops on her face and eyes.

Seher moaned in pain and bewilderment and slowly opened her eyes. The moment her startled eyes met his, she got up in an instant and held her robe tightly around her. She seemed very scared, conscious and cornered. His heart melted at the picture she presented. A frail woman facing her tormentor and that too not knowing what he could do to her. He knew she had no more trust in him than an animal.

He carefully took two steps back and said, "Seher, for God's sake, please don't be afraid. I will not touch you, I assure you, and neither am I going to take advantage of you. Please calm down. I am not a complete animal yet." The last sentence was said in a voice of absolute self disgust.

Seher crossed both her arms across her chest in a defensive gesture and rasped, "Y-You want me to believe you after all that you have done to me? Was torturing me at the mansion not enough that you have followed me here too? What else do you want from me? I have already acceded defeat. You were successful in throwing me from the top, like you had wanted.You won. Now I don't have anything else remaining to give you, except my life."

Yaman wanted to hug and comfort her and remove all her wounds and sufferings. He felt like a savage who had hurt this vulnerable and child like woman.

He said, " I want to apologize for all that I have done to you Seher. I want to atone for all my sins. I know what I have done is unpardonable but please give me a chance to give you your rightful place and to give you all the happiness you deserve. I want to fill your days with joy and peace and be someone who can be there to hold you when you stumble. I promise to be your strength from now on and not someone who weakens you. I want to give you so much love that you forget all your woes. You walked into my life and brought color to my world which was once dark and gray.It feels like I had been a dusty candle, tucked away for years, until you walked in, all lit and glowing, that I was once again set aflame. For a man who never knew love and felt unlovable, finding your love was a blessing and a balm to my soul. I was a fool to squander it all away."

He could see Seher weakening in her resolve and tears had pooled in her eyes. But she braced herself and eventually said, " We have hurt each other far too much. I don't even know if I can find the strength to love again. Maybe we were never meant to be. Please go back to your life and let me go back to my solitary existence. I will somehow find a way to stand up again. Let us not bruise each other's souls anymore."

She noticed that Yaman was looking at her collar and belatedly realised that her bath robe was coming off and its belt was getting loose and slack at her waist. She went red to the roots of her hair and wanted the earth to swallow her up. She crossed her hands over her chest in a gesture of self preservation and said, " If you are even half a decent man, leave now. P-P-Please."

Yaman looked at his beautiful wife longingly and said, "I will not touch you without your consent. Despite the strongest of temptations. "

She was mortified and put both her hands on her ears and said, "Please stop.I-I d-don't want to hear anymore. C-can you leave now, please?"

Yaman could see he had clearly made her uncomfortable and abashed. He wanted to hold her and kiss her senseless. He wanted to cradle her against him and discover every inch of her delectable body. But he knew it was a long road ahead for both of them. He had to prove his love to her before she began to trust him.

He looked into her eyes with a silent determination and said calmly, " I will keep coming back and asking for forgiveness until you decide to give me a chance. You and me love each other and I will not let this love go to ruins. Loving someone deeply gives one courage. It is the same courage and faith in each other which emboldens me to ask for your forgiveness, despite giving you so much anguish. I know the test and endurance of my love has just started but I will not give up. I will not let you be hurt anymore."

Saying this he stood up, looked his fill of her, as if trying to memorize each and every expression of hers and every lush curve of her body one last time. He then went out the door. The moment he was out, she quickly bolted the door from the inside, but kept standing near the door, afraid of her own overwhelming emotions.

Before she could turn to go and change into proper clothes, she heard Yaman say from the other side of the door, " Lock all the doors you want to, my dear wife. But just keep in mind, when I want to be near you, nothing will be able to stop me." There was hint of a smile in his voice. Seher felt hugely unnerved and alarmed and ran to her bedroom like greased lightning, as if Yaman's piercing gaze could see her even through the door.

To be continued.

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