Never Again (Completed) HaeRyuJaem Series #1

Chapter 16

For readers: Don't read this without playing the song 'Love is Gone by SLANDER

"You're already drunk but you're still
drinking," I said then grabbed the beer in his hand and drink it. He just looked at me with his blank face

We're now facing the ocean and we can see the moon and stars from our position. It reminds me of the good old days

"It's been so long since the last time we go here at Han River just to watch at the moon and stars. I always force you back then to watch it with me even though I knew that you find it boring to watch them. But do you know why I always want you to be with me every time that I'm watching the moon and stars?"

I looked at him and he's staring at the moon with his beautiful eyes

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to tell you by watching it with you that you weren't just a star to me, neither just a moon to me but you were my whole damn sky"

It hurts me so much that it took me so long to tell him everything

"I like you so much ever since we're children and there's no particular reason for that. I treasure you the most. I can't even imagine myself without you because I am used to doing everything with you. We're there for each other in our every first. That's how close we are back then"

While saying those things the happy memories of us together is flashing on my mind like it was just yesterday

"But you suddenly changed. You suddenly stopped talking to me. You suddenly stopped being my friend. You suddenly start avoiding me and lastly you suddenly start treating me like a stranger"

The tears started to comes out from eyes. It feels like yesterday and it's still fresh to me

"That time when you started treating me like a stranger I'm suffering from depression because of what happened to my family. I've waited for you to come and comfort me but I waited for nothing. I'm expecting you to be there because I know that you're the only one who can comfort me but just like I said I expected for nothing"

"R-Ryujin-ah"

"I saw hope that night when you asked to meet me here at the Han River. The sadness and pain suddenly left my heart and replaced it with excitement to meet you. That explains how much impact you had in my life Jaemin-ah but you disappointed me. Instead of receiving comfort, I received pain"

"I-I'm sorry"

I cried, even more, when I heard that. I've been waiting for him to say that for too long and it breaks my heart that it took him long enough to say it

"It's okay. It's all in the past now I'm just here for the closure and to tell you everything before I let you go"

I said while wiping my tears away

"I'm happy with Haechan now so you don't have to think about my feelings anymore. I'm planning to give him my yes tomorrow. I hope you will find your own happiness Jaemin-ah"

I was about to leave him there when he suddenly talk

"I enjoy watching the moon and stars with you Ryujin-ah. But do you know why I always join you when you're asking me to watch the moon and stars with you?" he said

I froze up and slowly look at him

"W-Why?"

"Because I don't want someone who promises me the moon and stars. I want someone who promises to watch them with me. And it's you Ryujin-ah"

"W-What are you saying?"

"I also treasure you the most back then up until now. I love you back then up until now. I care about you back then up until now. You're my everything back then up until now" he said while looking directly at my eyes. His eyes are so visible now. It shows a lot of emotions that I've never seen before.

"If I'm your everything then why did you leave me back then?" the tears in my eyes started to fall even more

"Because I have no choice" tears started to fall from his eyes. He's now crying in front of me and it breaks my heart to see him like this. It looks like he's been keeping this emotion for too long

"Liar. You're just making an excuse" my brain can't accept everything that he's saying right now. I feel like all the things that come out of his mouth is a lie

I was about to walk out when he suddenly hugged me from my back. I tried my best to get out of his arms

"That night. I'm waiting for you to hug me like this and ask me to stay but you didn't. You're not the only one who's suffering from pain and sadness that time"

I can feel his tears from my shoulder. I can feel the pain that he's been hiding for long years but I can't do something about it as it is all in the past now

"Only if you knew. It kills me watching you fell in love with someone else and I can't do anything about it"

This is not part of my plan

"Happy Birthday Ryujin-ah"

The moment Jaemin said that. The fireworks display started. I looked at the sky with my eyes full of tears. Jaemin was still hugging me from my back but he's now slowly letting me go

I froze up when I looked at the stairs and Haechan was there. He's staring at us with tears from his eyes. I can see the pain in his eyes. He's now about to walkout

"Haechan-ah wait!" I was about to run approach Haechan when Jaemin stopped me

"C-Can you please stay? For just this once?" I can see from his eyes that he wants me to stay

I didn't doubt for a second

"I'm sorry," I said then I immediately run away to find Haechan but before I left him I looked back and it breaks my heart to see him breaking down.

He's crying alone

"Please be happy Ryujin-ah," he said

I wanted to comfort him and stay with him but my relationship with Haechan is more important to me

I'm sorry Jaemin