chapter 14

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Brad leaves to go to some girls house and michael offers me a beer back at his trailer. We go to the trailer where amanda just got done putting a sleepy tracey to bed. She was in the process of cleaning bottles when we walked in. She looked like her normal saggy tired self but very tired and rather annoyed at Michael. "Nice that you came home....woulda been better if trevor didn't tag along " amanda. Dont you love my company? We've been good friends for god I dont know....3 years??" "Pssh .... more like a pain in the ass that never goes away.....atleast you're not brad... I cannot stand him.. I tolerate you but not brad.... he's a pig and a two faced liar! " "honey I think it's time you go to bed....I gotta talk to T ....alone... " yeah, just....trevor if you crash on the couch do not piss on it....
"Cant promise anything but I sure will try...." she rolls her eyes as she kisses michael and heads to bed. Michael gies and tucks her in as I sit at the table. He then grabs two cold beers and we chat about life....

For some reason michael wants to know more about my past... as if what I told him just didn't cut it for him.....
He knows about my childhood only what I told him and my teenage years that led up to the airforce not working out. But what he doesn't know is my secret relationship with Beverly the past two years before her passing. ... "I know I have asked you everything under the sun about you leading up to us being partners that turned to best friends ... I told you what I went thru but.... what doesn't add up is I've never seen you with anyone . I seen you getting blow jobs and handjobs and maybe the occasional fuck fest with any girl you could get .but,never an actual girlfriend... I put my bear down and twiddle my thumbs contemplating.... " what do you wanna know mikey??? I dont "date:" never had a girlfriend in my life.... but I say wagging my finger .... theres one young lady.... we had nothing more than a fling there a fling here . No strings attatched... and no gimmicks . Just good sex and good times.... Michael nodded his head to show he's following as he takes a swig. "So... did you...ever consider dating her? The question taken be back a bit ....
Personally, she was a bit young for what I like but ....in the truth of the matter....yeah ....but we both agreed sex was just more..... convenient and was less emotionally attached... something we both hate... or well hated... I was getting alittle irritated by the sudden questions michael had .. but I said nothing. "You said hated as in past tense... " "yeah...? What the fuck does that mean??" "You know..... as if something happened or at one point you hated it but dont ? "
I was getting flustered.... " well..... she passed away.... like in march of last year I guess..... something about childbirth or whatever killed her....something with pregnancy.... look I'm all for the questions but its getting late.... I'm gonna catch some zzz's on that couch and maybe we should all as in you amanda and baby tracey can go to sunny Joe's diner... my treat... Micheal liked that idea and obliged. Personally I dont wanna do what I said I would do but if it shuts his nosy ass up then I'm fine with it...

I couldn't sleep... mikey's questions began to dawn on me.... I have not seen Beverly since like augest...she just disappeared and then ....died... I never really did find out how and who she got pregnant by ... the chances of 50/50 it's my offspring and the possibility its another man's child... Beverly was as close to the one I wanted as any woman ever was ... she wasn't my first but I wish she was my last... she was.the best thing to come out of my shitty existence... she always saw the good in me.... kissing her and holding her felt like I was holding an angel.... a devil .... beauty vs the beast.... a human being who is desensitized from emotion for the most part was weak with her. Anything she did and anything she didn't do just drove me bananas.... I was falling for her ... and maybe she noticed and got spooked.... I mean come on? The thought of dating a closeted serial killer and maniac which she knows my temper .... she seen it first hand... we had gotten into a fight because I picked her up from some losers house she had just fucked for extra money.... she was selling herself and i just went buzzerk.... but that didn't scare her off... rather we had angry hot steamy sex... the feeling of her bare body on me is currently making me hard. I enjoyed eating her sweet essence and drilling my cock in and out of her as she moaned my name... I was and am in love with her... I'm not sure if I'll ever find anyone like her ....

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