Abnormality (Completed)

Uncertainty (Jennie POV)

"You're not sleeping yet?" I asked my sister soon as I step in the apartment. I was surprised cause normally in this hour she will be in her bedroom. "oh you're back.." was only her response. She currently sitting cozily on the sofa watching something. She completely ignoring my question, I assumed she bothered with my problems too. "So? How was it?" she asked eagerly as she turned her face to me. A moment later I approached her with a sighed. "She's not at home, I've been waiting for hours" I told feeling tired. She seems to be in shocked. "Hmm.. Do you want me to call her?" I was surprised upon hearing her suggestion. "No no. Please don't tell her anything! I was planning to confront her by myself" I answered quickly. Its true. I just want to tell her personally.

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I'm currently lying in my bed thinking about how should I tell Lisa on my recovery. Honestly I'm so confident earlier that I'm ready to pour out everything to her, but now I'm not sure anymore. I mean what if the outcome didn't come as what I expected. What if she didn't longer needs me. What if her feelings changed. I started to overthinking. I feel bothered by the consequences that will happen. Soon I grab a teddybear that was lying next to me and hug it tight. My mind was so fucked up that I don't even know how should I handle these messed. I'm confused.

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"Good morning" my sister greeted me as I step in the kitchen. She's currently eating her toast while busy typing something on her phone. "Good morning" I replied lazily. A moment later I seat infront of her while drinking water. "You didn't seem to sleep well. There's literally dark circle under your eyes" she stated soon after she put her phone on the table. I took a long sighed before I responded to her. "Jisoo. I feel worried.. Do you think lisa will accept me back?" she put a soft smile on her face right after she heard my question. "if you want to know, lisa is  the most loyal person ever, she never dump her lover, but most of her ex lover tend to leave her while begging to get back" she stated. I don't know why but it makes me feel sensitive. "Ok. I feel offended now" she was stunned by my words and immediately trying to comfort me. "Jennie, I didn't mean that way. What I'm trying to say is. She probably gonna accept you back. I mean its not like you're purposely hurting her like some of her exes". I couldn't utter a word cause I felt disturbed. "Hey stop overthinking will you? Just go with a flow. I'm confident she will forgive you" jisoo continued trying to lit up my mood. I smile weakly to her still feeling uncomfortable. I've been spending most of my night thinking how should I behave and how should I started the conversation. I'm so drowsy since I didn't sleep well.

"Or Maybe you should just go and just attack her lips, I'm sure she like it" She suggested. I was astonished soon as I heard that. "Sis that was too absurd. It makes me look like a horny teenager if I did that" I stated. I felt digusted soon as I imagined doing that to lisa. I mean, no. Eventhough I'm desperate, I'm not gonna do that to lisa. "You shouldn't act innocent jennie.. I bet you did that to lisa before" jisoo started to teased me while smirking. Oh sister you don't have any idea how much I want to smack your head right now. I thought.  But I'm just too exhausted to fight so I just rolled my eyes. But yes! I did that to her before, exactly like in my memory. She was right!

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It's 8pm as I'm standing infront of lisa's apartment waiting for her to arrived. To be honest, I will never be ready to confront her, but I had to cause I won't find peace not until I put this to end. I felt nervous the whole time. My heart was thumping so fast as I keep fidgeting my finger trying to calm myself down. I feel worried and scared, what if she didn't like my presences. No. Suddenly I don't feel like ready. Maybe I should come some other day. But as soon as I about to walk away, I saw her standing few meters away from me. Looking stunned.