Batjokes Oneshots

5. Legoverse

✨Requested by africkenfricker✨
  • • • • •

  It was a usual night for the Joker. His shenanigans had caught the attention of the dark knight, as intended, and their game of cat and mouse had finally ended. The Joker had mistakenly run into an alley that he thought led out to the street, but was actually a dead end. He didn't mind, though. The chase had been fun, but all good things must come to an end.

Batman rounded the corner and the Joker smiled at him, obediently holding out his hands to be cuffed. The game was over and Batman had won, but the Joker was already planning for next time, figuring out how to ensure his victory.

As the Bat approached, the Joker thought he heard him sniffle, which was very un-Batman-like.

"You okay, Bats?" The Joker asked.

"Fine," he responded curtly.

Batman reached for the pair of handcuffs he kept on his belt, only to drop them on the ground. He let out a frustrated sound and bent down to retrieve them.

  "You sure you're okay?" The Joker said.

  "I said I'm fine!" Batman snapped, immediately followed by another sniffle.

  The Joker raised an eyebrow. "You're sick, aren't you?"

  "No, I'm not. I'm just...not at 100% today."

  "Yeah, that's called being sick."

  Batman shook his head, but then seemed to immediately regret it. He leaned against the wall of the nearby building, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

  "I'm fine," he repeated hoarsely, though the Joker could tell he was anything but.

Moving over to the caped crusader, the Joker wrapped an arm around his back, guiding him away from the wall and toward the exit of the alley. Batman looked at him, confused.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Taking you home, dummy," the Joker said. "You need rest."

  "Joker, it's fine, you don't have to," Batman protested, but found he hardly had the strength left to fight.

  "You shoulda told me sooner. We could've done this another day when you felt better," the Joker said.

  "I...didn't think it was that bad," Batman muttered.

  The Joker chuckled. "You could be dying and you'd still say it's not that bad. Now, where's your car?"

/ /

The Batmobile's autopilot took Batman and the Joker back to the Batcave. Once they arrived, the Joker helped Batman to the elevator and into the rest of Wayne Manor. They entered Bruce's room and the Joker got Batman to his bed so he could lay down. The night had taken more out of him than he was willing to admit.

"I'll pick out some comfy PJs for you," the Joker said with a smile.

"You don't have to do that, I can," Bruce argued.

He tried to sit up, but the clown pushed him firmly back down.

"You are on bedrest, mister," he said. "Doctor's orders."

Bruce cracked a small smile. "You're not a doctor."

  "Maybe I was in a past life," the Joker shrugged. "You don't know."

The Joker grabbed a pair of comfy looking pyjamas from the dresser and set them on the bed. He helped Bruce slowly sit up so that he could remove his cape and cowl.