Never Again (Completed) HaeRyuJaem Series #1

Chapter 10

Later on, I decided to prepare my gift for Renjun. I'm planning to surprise them at his birthday celebration because I didn't tell anyone that I'm already discharged. I can't disappoint Renjun because I know that he's looking forward to my gift

After I prepared my gift for Renjun I decided to take a nap to regain my energy because I know that I need high energy later at Renjun's party

I woke up when I heard Yeji-Annie's voice outside.
I'm already late so I immediately prepared myself. I decided to wear a turtleneck long sleeve and I topped it with a suit. I also wear black jeans and rubber shoes. I need to cover up my bruises because I know that it will just make them worried

I offered our members to come with me but they rejected it because they're not that close with NCT

Yeji-unnie drop me off using her car at the private resort where we are going to celebrate Renjun's birthday

While walking to the entrance the music started to get louder and it looks like the party already started. When I presented the invitation card the bodyguard let me in

There's a lot of familiar faces at the party and most of them are already drunk. It looks like I'm late

"Ryujin?" Haechan looks so shocked when he saw me so I smiled

"What are you doing here?" he's acting very weird and he keeps on looking around

"I'm planning to surprise Renjun where is he?"

"A-Ah Ryujin-ah do you want to come with me outside? Let's grab a dri-----"

"Ryujin-ah you came!" Renjun suddenly interrupted us together with Mark and they both looked so drunk

"Happy Birthday Renjun-ah"

I gave Renjun his birthday gift and he looks so happy about it. He started dragging me but Haechan is stopping him. I'm starting to get confused about what's going on with Haechan. He's not drunk but he's being weird. He keeps on stopping us but Mark dragged Haechan away from me

I am now with Renjun and he keeps on pulling me closer to a cabin. When we reached the cabin I noticed that all of the NCT members are there but half of them are already wasted and sleeping

Jaemin's now in front of me and staring at me with his blank face but what caught my attention was the girl beside her clinging into his arms

I don't want to overthink, maybe she's just Jaemin's friend

"Ryujin-ah? Are you now okay? We heard the news" Chenle is also drunk even though he's still a minor like me

"I-I'm fine" I tried to act normal in front of them

"Let's not talk about that, we're here to have some fun"

He said it like it's just nothing and it has nothing to do with him. He's acting very strange and it hurts me

Haechan later on came and I looked at him. I now understand why he's stopping me to come here. He looks so worried but I just smiled. He sat beside me and Jaemin is in front of us

"Jaemin-ah why don't you introduce Giselle to Ryujin, they will see each other often once Giselle debuted so they should start being friends," Chenle said about the girl who's clinging to Jain

Jaemin grab Giselle closer to him

"She's Giselle and she's going to debut soon with Aespa under SM Entertainment" Giselle, later on, bowed to me so I do the same. She looks like a foreigner

"She's Jaemin's girl am I right Jaemin-ah?" Renjun added and Jaemin just laughed

I don't know if they're just having fun or what but it hurts me. Haechan looks so worried while looking at me but I just keep on smiling

I distracted myself by eating but my eyes keep on looking at Jaemin who's now laughing with Giselle

"Just don't look at them" Haechan whispered while drinking his beer

I tried my best not to look at them but I can't. I decided to go to the restroom to the restroom to calm myself

"You're just overthinking Ryujin-ah. Yeah, you're just overthinking and you need to stop it Ryujin-ah. You're planning to confess to him now right? So go and tell him" I keep on saying that in front of the mirrors while looking at myself before I decided to go back

I breathe heavily before I decided to go back to the table but Jaemin's not there. I looked around and I can't find him. I was about to call him when I heard Jaemin's voice upstairs, he looks like he's arguing with someone so I decided to go upstairs

The heavy rain started to fall

My jaw dropped when I saw Giselle and Jaemin kissing. My tears started to fall from my eyes and I feel like my heart was breaking into pieces

I was about to walk out silently when I accidentally made a noise. They both looked at me and they looked so shocked

"I'm sorry for disturbing you" I managed to smile at them while crying before I decided to walkout

"Ryujin-ah wait!"

I heard Jaemin calling my name but I just keep on running away. I feel like my heart was going to burst because of the pain that I'm feeling right now

I felt betrayed and disappointed at the same time. I lost my chance to confess to him again

My tears keep on falling and it's blending with the rain

I keep on running and I was about to go to the exit when Haechan grabbed my arms and looked at me with his worried eyes

"What happened?"

The moment he asked that question I started to cry even more. Haechan hugged me and I can't do anything but cry and I can't breathe because of the pain that I'm feeling right now

All my life I keep on believing that Jaemin might love me back someday

All my life I always chose to forgive him even if he's not asking for forgiveness

All my life I never loved anyone else except him

All my life I always chose him

Love is really scary just like everyone said. Love can destroy anything even ourselves and I realized that I wasted my life waiting, forgiving, and choosing someone who doesn't even care about me and what I feel

I love you Jaemin-ah

I love you so much so I'm now letting you go

I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired