See Me

7

I think he was waiting for me to speak, but I didn't. I had nothing to say. So we stared at each other.

"I wanted to talk to you about last night." He finally broke the silence.

That got my attention.

I could feel my demeanour change. My back straightened, my jaw tensed, my eyes found his. He didn't mean....

He couldn't know. Could he? Did Jax tell him?

"What about it?" I managed to breathe out. I thought my voice would betray me, displaying how much anxiety and fear his question caused me. It didn't, however. It was flat as ever, it sounded like I was bored.

"At the dock." Zane briefly rubbed his head, like it was something that was bothering him.

I breathed a sigh of relief, flopping my body back against the back of the chair. He didn't know. He didn't know, so I officially didn't care about what he had to say.

"What about it?" I asked again.

"Well, uh, you said some concerning things, Seren. I just wanted to check in." Zane answered, his eyes never left my face.

"No, I didn't." Truthfully, I couldn't remember what I said. Not because I was so drunk that I was in a black out, but because anything that happened before him last night, was not important.

"Yes, you did." Zane challenged back. When I didn't answer, he probed further. "You were trying to jump into the water."

"I wanted to swim." I cocked my head at him. I felt my face remain rigid, not giving anything away in terms of expression.

"You asked me if I thought it would hurt to drown." He cocked his head right back at me, his tone serious.

Oh shit. I did ask that. Even though I felt a rush of embarrassment shoot through me, my face didn't change. "So? It's valid question."

His face dropped in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I wasn't. Was I?

Zane was silent for a moment, while I took the opportunity to have another gulp of vodka.

"I know we're not that close, Seren." He said slowly, his eyes darting between my face and the bottle in my hands.

"I barely know you." My tone was icy, and I saw a flicker of hurt flash through his eyes.

"Okay, but if you ever need to talk, or anything, I can listen." Zane's voice sounded genuine, but I was left wondering what his ulterior motive was. He had to have one.

"Why?" I asked him. I really was curious what had prompted this offer of his, but my voice still didn't convey any emotion.

"Just to help, I guess." Zane shrugged as he spoke. The shrug wasn't in a causal way, it was more like my words had left him wondering why he had offered in the first place.

"Why do you think I need help?" I asked, my words were sharp. He didn't know anything about me.

Zane studied what he could see of my face again, and I suddenly felt vulnerable. The way he looked at me was different than how I was usually looked at. Zane wasn't looking at me hungrily, eyes filled with lust or interest. He was staring at me like he was searching for truth.

"I think everyone needs help sometimes." He said finally.

I leaned fully back in the lounge chair, staring up at the sky. I had no idea what to make of this conversation, truthfully. I didn't need help. Especially not from Zane, who didn't know the first thing about me.

I expected him to leave, since my lack of participation in this conversation was clearly his cue. He didn't, however. My eyes were focused on the clouds floating above me, but from my peripheral vision, I could see he hadn't moved a muscle.

Sighing, I reached for my pack of cigarettes. I had already burned through four this morning, but I didn't care, truthfully. I flicked the lighter in my hand, watching as the small flame danced around the end of the cancer stick, lighting it instantly. Turning the once white paper shell into ash, into nothingness.

"Actually. I have one thing you can help me with."