Percnico highschool AU

ch 5

⚠️tw f-slur and sh⚠️

Jason sat on my bed and looked at me, I stared at the floor. After a few minuets he spoke. "Nico, are you okay?"

"Yes Jason. I'm fine." I mumble "What's up?"

"A few things actually. First, I need to check your room again."

"Of fucking course you do." I whisper glaring, then I turn to Jason "They're in my pillow and under my dresser, can't you just leave it at that and not do an entire search of my room?"

"No. I'll do it when you're not here if you want but I have to check, I need you to be safe and not hurt yourself. I know it's hard.. her death hurt you more than it did me but trust me hurting youreself wont help or bring her back." I look at him, his blue eyes filled with pain and.. ugh pitty.

"You think she's why I do it?!"

"I.. I thought it was from nightmares?" I laugh sarcasticly.

"Wow. You really are dense. I do it cause I like it, it feels good, it makes me feel like a human again!" Jason stared at me.

"Wh-what are you talking about Nico?" I looked at him, I didn't know how to explain or if I want to. No one knew how I felt not even Leo. No one. "Nico? Please explain."

"I- I can't explain it Jason! I just.. Everything feels.. wrong." I mumble.

"What do you mean?" Jasons voice was growing more concerned.

"Nothing." I say and stand up "You can check my room now, I'm going." Jason grabbed my arm, I flinched and pulled away.

"Fuck sorry but I'm not done talking to you. Sit down." I sigh knowing it was no use arguing. I sit back at my desk.

"Fine, what else are we talking about?"

"Dylan."

"No."

"Yes, it's not ok what he called you."

"It was over a year ago Jase, I'm over it. It's fine."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Leo saw but no, no one knew."

"Why?"

"Because of this! I didn't want you to worry.."

"You keeping it from me worries me Nico! What else don't I know?"

"I don't tell you a lot Jason. You're my brother not my friend" I snap

"Wha-.. fine. Fair enough. You can go now. We'll finish talking later. We're are you going?" Jason says looking a little hurt.

"Leos." I lie automaticly.

"Okay. Bye." I go to my closet and grab a coat and discreetly slide one of my blades into my poket before I go.
I walk to the park by my house and sit where no one can see me. I glare at the ground.

God Jason is so fucking stupid! He thinks I do this because of her? or nightmares?! Of course thats not why! It's fucking Percy. No.. not Percy it's that I'm fucking gay!
I pulled out the knife
Why cant I just be fucking normal?! Have a dad who's around, a mom who's alive a sister who's alive a brother who stays out of my business!
I rolled up my sleeve and stare at the many cuts already there
a normal night sleep. a normal fucking brain! not the one fucking up with anxiety depression and trauma not to mention being a fucking fag!
With everything I hate about myself I added a new cut.
a problem. even my own dad doesn't want me, my mom couldn't stay. no one cares.
"Nico what are you doing?!" The voice seemed far off