ASD × yoongi x bts

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tw: self harm, depression

this is part 1!

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when yoongi got the news that he had autism, he wasn't happy at all. sure, some things did make sense after his diagnosis but it made yoongi feel embarrassed and awful about himself.

he was in denial, that wasn't him. he wasn't a person with autism, he wasn't a person on the spectrum. that just couldn't be him.

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the words, "we've come to the diagnosis of ASD, autism spectrum disorder, also known as autism" kept repeating in his mind.

he has cried so much because of it, he couldn't even breathe. he hadn't even told the rest of the members that he got tested for autism.

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"yoongi hyung has been hiding from us lately" jungkook said in a quiet tone so yoongi wouldn't hear, "i know, is he even eating?" namjoon asked, putting a piece of waffle in his mouth.

seokjin shrugged, "i hear him go down the stairs in the middle of the night but that's about it" he said, yoongi didn't want to see the members, he was scared they would look at him differently if he told them about his diagnosis.

"i think we should confront him about it, something is wrong" hoseok sighed, he was so worried about his beloved hyung, "something's definitely wrong if he's screaming at five in the morning" taehyung mumbled, earning stares from the members.

"what screams?" jimin asked, "yoongi is screaming at five in the morning, i hear it a lot" taehyung said, he was always woken up by the screams yoongi let out, "well why didn't you tell us?" namjoon scoffed, "hey! calm down joon, instead of getting mad at taehyung, go talk to yoongi" jimin said, not wanting the two boys to start an argument.

namjoon got out his chair and ran upstairs to the boy's room. he really hoped yoongi was okay.

-

namjoon knocked on yoongi's door, patiently waiting for a response. soon enough, you could hear shuffling and the door was opened.

"what?"

the leader could've swore at that moment that he had never seen yoongi so tired and at such a bad mental state.

his hair was clearly tangled, his face looked thin, eyebags were as dark as he has ever seen them, and his eyes were puffy.

"you look...tired"

the door was slammed and locked in front of his face, he immediately regretted his words. he anxiously bit the inside of his mouth, he had fucked up.

namjoon made his walk of shame down the stairs, the rest of the members had heard yoongi's door slam shut. something wasn't right.

"is he okay?" hoseok carefully asked, namjoon ran his hands through his hair, a sigh leaving his lips, "i don't think so to be honest" namjoon said, hoseok hummed, standing up to go talk to yoongi.

"give him a few minutes" seokjin said, wavering his hand so hoseok's would sit back down, "fine"

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