The Lev n Fax Saga

Part Three

The aftermath of the... aftermath, and how they dealt with the fallout.

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Fax came back once. Just once. It had been a few days after he'd walked out - fled, his mind supplied unhelpfully - and he'd been worried about his cats. There were ways for the cats to get out, go find food, but that didn't mean they would . But when he'd gotten there, Lev had been on the couch, hands braced between his knees while an older angel stood there talking to him. Fax would have expected Lev to be hiding in the shadows, but his features had been uncharacteristically open. Open, and full of pain. He only got a glimpse before the older angel shifted his weight, and his broad form effectively hid Lev from sight. Fax hadn't wanted to know more, but it was hard to step away from his own window. At least he knew the cats were being taken care of, because at least three of them had been sprawled around Lev, or draped across one of his feet.

He'd had to force himself back up, turn around, and walk away again. There was no point in being mad at Lev for staying in his house. He knew what that house meant to Levant. It was safety, and peace, and Fax had worked hard to keep it that way.

Fax wasn't mad about much of anything anymore. The burning rage had faded to nothing but smoke. It was always smoke with Fax, wasn't it? The fire never lasted. Everything burned too fierce, too quick-

He'd caught himself then, and then had to laugh. He sounded like Lev, making everything sound so much more dramatic than it was. His laughter had quickly faded, though, and he had continued on in silence. Best not to think of that.

True to form, it took less than a week for a cat to attach itself to Fax, despite how Fax was on the move constantly. The cat was a small, sleek little thing, black as night, and with bright gold eyes. He'd taken one look at it, and decided if it was willing to follow him for ten blocks despite clearly starving and not needing to waste energy like that, the least he could do was feed it. And, of course, that meant it refused to leave at all.

He didn't mind, not really.

Fax spent three and a half months wandering. Somewhere during that time, he picked up smoking again, though he was careful to do so away from the little cat who had claimed him. It was a comfort, that was all. He needed something more than a cat to keep him grounded, and he didn't have Lev to lean on anymore. It reminded him of the time before Lev, how the smoke had settled into him, becoming a part of him, and yet it was a sharp contrast to his time with Lev. He hadn't needed cigarettes then. And the world had become a hell of a lot less foggy then. Everything had substance, when he was with Lev, and he'd liked it. Lev had made things worth paying attention to. Or easier to let himself pay attention, instead of fighting it. Something like that.

Eventually, though, even a cat - who had discovered it very much liked riding in the hood of his jacket, or perched on his shoulder - or smoking, or wandering, all of it, wasn't enough to keep Fax from being drawn home. Because it was home, because it was his, something he'd spent decades building. Angels be damned, he'd carved himself a place in this world, and he missed it.

It was hard to ignore the fact that every step towards home made it easier to breathe but he tried valiantly anyway.

And yet, despite his determination to go back home, he still hesitated once he got there. He held back for two days, even after the first night, when he saw Lev sitting on his porch swing, cat in lap, and gaze vacant. It took Fax a solid moment for it to hit him that Lev didn't have his wings visible. That didn't really mean anything; angels could make them disappear from sight, and on earth Lev tended to stay in his human's for for simplicity's sake. Still, not seeing them had been jarring, especially remembering what Lev had said the night all this had gone to shit.