Hearts and Stars

(8) Fate

I had to say no.

I couldn't give him a reason.

It was not because I didn't want to go on a date with him. I just couldn't go on a date and be happy when it was my mother's death anniversary.

Yesterday, I came back home from practice, only to see my elder twin brothers and my aunt sitting in the living room, talking to my dad and Jonah. That was when the situation dawned upon me.

My family always came together for my mother's death anniversary. The day was hard for all of us.

It was hard for my aunt. She was my mother's elder sister and she is a cardiologist. She was the one inside the ICU when my mom took her last breath. She blames herself for my mom's death.

But I never blamed her. I just blamed fate.

It was hard for my dad. He had lost the love of his life that day. I think that even he blames himself. He was always busy with work. We were never a rich family. But we were never poor either. And that was all due to the fact that my mom and dad worked hard to provide for us.

He always thought that if he hadn't been so busy with work, he would have noticed her sickness. He could have saved her.

But again, I never blamed him. I just blamed fate.

It was hard for my eldest brother, Brandon. He was the one who had known mom the longest among us kids. But as he is in the US military, he could never come home for her death anniversary. I think he really hates himself for that.

But I don't hate him. I just hate fate.

It was hard for Justin, my second eldest brother and the older twin between him and Nathan. He was at his friend's house when mom was rushed to the hospital. He couldn't even see her last time before she died. He couldn't even say goodbye. He took her death the hardest among all of us. He hated himself for not being there for her.

But again, I don't hate him. I just hate fate.

It was hard for Nathan. He was exactly beside her when she had collapsed on the floor. They were baking his favourite cookies and she suddenly collapsed. He was just twelve. He had no clue what was going on. He thinks that if he was quick to call nine one one, he could have saved mom. He blames himself for her death.

But I only blame fate.

Jonah changed vastly after mom's death. He was always the mommy's boy. He was always with my mom. But after that day, there was no mom he could be with. He thought that all the family members should never not have a mom to go to. He became a mom for all of us. Just at the age of ten, he acted like a matured 30 year old. He took care of everyone.

Don't get me wrong. We always had dad. But he was grieving in his own different way. During the first few months after mom's death, my dad took up drinking, drowning all his sadness in alcohol.

He came home late, drunk. He never did anything to us when he was drunk. He just ignored us. We had been running out of money and dad spending it on drinks wasn't helping.

One day, Brandon thought it was enough. When dad came home that night, Brandon knocked him into his senses. Literally.

He bet the sh*t out of dad. Like they do in WWE. The rest of my brothers stood in front of me, blocking my view from the fight. Jonah kept whispering sweet nothings to me, trying to make me not notice the fight going on in the house.

But I heard all of it. It was the second worst night of my life. I was scared one of them will get hurt hard and then they will die. I couldn't bear the thought of losing another one of my family. I just stood behind my brothers, crying my eyes out.

Today was her death anniversary.

All of us had a different way of grieving her. But at the end of the day, we were there for each other.

I always was the last one to visit mom's grave. It took me all day to muster up the courage to visit her. And that was exactly where I was.

"Hey mom!" I smiled at my mom's grave.

"I miss you. A lot." I said, the tears I was trying hard to hold back, rolling down my cheeks.

"We won three more cheer tournaments. I was also announced as the best cheerleader in one of them. I also kept my grades up. I really hope you are proud of me." I sighed.

"Life has been good for us, mom. Dad is the happiest he has been since you went. Jonah has traveled all of his favourite places around the world. Nathan and Justin have been doing good in college as well. They are getting in trouble but they are doing good." I chuckled.

"I finished school. You missed my graduation, you know. I think you would have liked it. You always dreamed about all of your kids getting graduated. But I am pretty sure you were there with us in spirit." I sighed.

"I also went to prom, against my wish. But then, just like you and dad, I met someone there. He is a really nice person. He makes me feel comfortable with myself. He always knows the perfect thing to say to me. And somehow, I feel comfortable around him." I chuckled remembering our stargazing night.

"He also asked me on a date yesterday. But I wanted to spend today with you. I really hope he doesn't hate me because I didn't give him a reason for saying no. But, when I will tell him, he will understand."

"I miss you mom." I said as I laid my head on her grave, closing my eyes, trying to feel her. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by darkness.

A/N:

Hello everyone!!

Here is another chapter while I patiently wait for the results of ONC round one...

I hope you liked the chapter (Although it is a sad one)

I was thinking about giving chapter names... Any thoughts?

QOTD: What do you do when you accidentally tell your parents that you have written a story on Wattpad?

(help me.)

Until Next Time...