Bangtan Gang ~ Kim Namjoon x BTS

17- Broken

[Namjoons pov]

I listened to Hoseok hyung telling me he knew me, and I tried to understand but my mind was cloudy.
He broke down, and I felt so bad , I wanted to go and hug him immediately.
Then he mumbled something out and I couldn't hear it but he said it loudly and I froze.

"Joo Joo"

For some reason, my heart hurt, but so did my head, it was like it was trying to block something out. I let out a grunt of pain as I shifted in my seat, flashes of memories going by.
A young boy who I immediately knew was Hoseok thanks to his smile, appeared in front of me with a bright smile and a wave but it was quickly replaced with a man holding a belt with blood dripping from it and a smirk on his dirty face.

I shivered and unconsciously fell off the bed , onto my butt as I shook, something taking over me before it came back.
My memories .

I couldn't help but to scream, wrapping my hands around me , as I shook, flinching as the door was kicked in, the noise making me shake.

I heard voices talking, but I couldn't make them out.
I heard footsteps , getting louder and louder and an image flashed before my eyes before I recognised the man in my head.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I screamed, hitting it off before putting my head in between my knees and rocking back and forth.

"Please, dad no" are the words that the boys heard from Namjoon, and their hearts broke.

"Joo Joo it's me, Hopes" he heard a voice say and he opened an eye to see Hoseok crouched down in front of him, his hands out in front of him.
Namjoon rubbed his eyes for a second before placing his own honey kissed hands in Hoseoks.

"Eh" Hoseok let out with a smile before wrapping his arms around the younger male.
"Joonie" Hoseok said, almost like a question as he looked at Namjoon.

"Joo Joo" Namjoon spoke and Hoseok nodded, before lifting him up and placing him on the bed.

Namjoon closed his eyes and laid back on the bed, one hand clutching the bed sheet, the other squeezing Hoseoks hand. He could hear whispers of voices in the background but it was all blurry as memories flashed through his mind.
He felt like a different person was in his memory rather than himself but he knew it was him. For years he had been getting these dreams at night, he had told his friends but they assured him that it was from the scary movie he had watched. However now he knew, those scary things were real, and it was a monster but not the one he thought it was, the monster was his father.

He had already known that his mother had passed and he lived with his father but now everything he did came back to him. His father used to make him sleep outside in the winter, with just his coat to keep him warm. He had cut up everything that meant something to him, including a blanket that his mother had gifted him.

He remembered Hoseok, his hyung who promised to keep him safe forever. The man he loved, the man he trusted, the man he lost, the man who was standing right in front of him all this time and he didn't even know.

His eyes flashed opened, staring at the ceiling but also noticing the 6 men around him. His body convulsed and with that he was gone into a deep sleep.

.............................................................................

It was hours later when Namjoon woke up. His new memories were still fresh in his head but all his mind could think of were the 6 men. Groaning quietly he sat up on his bed and glanced around.
He wasn't in his bedroom anymore but he also didn't recognise the black room until he remembered it was Yoongis room.
He glanced down at his watch ,reading the time that said 9:34. He looked around once more before stopping on a chair beside the bed he slept on. The person on the chair was fast asleep, his hand laying on the bed and Namjoon assumed that the member was holding his hand. Quietly and carefully, Namjoon leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips, whispering out a "I'm sorry Hoseok".

With that, Namjoon left the room and the walked towards his own bedroom. He sighed deeply before grabbing a backpack and walking around the room, grabbing the most important stuff.
He grabbed his wallet, spare clothes, his Koya stuffie, extra money that he kept hidden, etc. He filled the bag up before quickly going online and booking a train ticket to Ilsan.
He zipped up his bag before writing a letter that he would leave on the kitchen table.
With one last look at the place he had stayed at for the past few months , he smiled.
With that he nodded at Kevin the security guard before walking out the door.

"Bye" he spoke before he walked out and got in the taxi which was waiting to take him to the station. With Namjoon gone, the house was peaceful.... until later that morning.

"NAMJOON" a voice screamed through the house, immediately waking everyone and probably the neighbours if they had any.
"Namjoon, oh no please" Jungkook shouted as he ran up the stairs to Namjoons bedroom.
He hit the door open so hard that it actually broke but he didn't care. Namjoon wasn't in the room.
"Jungkook, what's going on?" Yoongi asked as he spotted Jungkook raiding Namjoons bedroom. Jungkook turned around , seeing all his boyfriends staring at him.

"Namjoon... he's gone." He whispered out and with that all of their hearts were now officially broken.