Stop Me Going Home (REVAMPED)

Chapter 20

Until they're not.

It's Friday again. No major events occurred over the remainder of the week, but Frank has been in an obvious mental health decline, but he denies it.

Talking about it doesn't necessarily cause fights, but Frank ends up really upset no matter what. Deep down, he knows Gerard is trying to get him to open up more so that he doesn't completely shut down, but Frank can't do it. It's hard talking about the new trauma he endured. Talking about his mom now seems like a walk in the park compared to this.

Gerard doesn't know how to help Frank cope with all the trauma of having survived so much in so little time, and Frank won't go and see a doctor or a therapist, so Gerard and Mikey are all that he's got. Other than their dad, of course, but he's rarely home anyway, due to his job.

Along with this added tension between them, Frank's retreated back into the bubble he constructed when his mom hurt him last. He's constantly disassociating as his thoughts and memories consume him. He doesn't like talking about it. He's been trying to pretend he's okay, but Gerard knows it's complete bullshit. Not talking isn't the only thing to come about though, he's got something new. He won't allow anyone to touch him anymore, and this slowly started over the span of three days.

He never said why he doesn't want hugs anymore, but Gerard knows it's because he's afraid to be touched, even though he knows Gerard would never hurt him like his attackers did.

It's difficult for Gerard not to touch Frank, especially when he's having a nightmare and Gerard needs to wake him up. It's hard to try and comfort him when Frank cries, because hugging Frank was the one thing Gerard would always do to calm down Frank, it it would always work. What's worse though, is sharing a bed. They're so close together when they're asleep, but not being able to touch Frank makes Gerard feel like he's a thousand miles away.

Their intimacy isn't entirely gone though, as Frank still occasionally brushes his had against Gerard's as if he wants to hold it, but he never allows himself to fully feel it.

They get through the school day just fine. Today was a half day, so they were able to leave before lunch. Now, they're in the car, heading back to the Way house, trying to make weekend plans.

"We could go check out that guitar store over by the mall," Mikey suggests from the backseat. Gerard rolls his eyes.

"You only wanna go there cause that's where your girlfriend works," Gerard says.

"That's not the only reason. I broke a string on my bass, and it's a little hard to play it with only three strings," Mikey says.

"Whatever. I was thinking we go up to Ray's house this weekend. It's been a while since we all hung out," Gerard says. He turns his head over in Frank's direction.

"That sound okay?" He asks softly. He sees Frank nod in agreement, so he turns his attention back to the road.

"Am I invited?" Mikey asks.

"Yeah, but I thought you wanted to see your girlfriend," Gerard says.

"I do, but I guess she can wait. I want to hang out with Ray," Mikey says.

"We could head over there after lunch," Gerard suggests. Frank nods again.

"Are we going to be staying the entire weekend?" Mikey asks.

"As long as Ray's fine with it. I'll call him when we get home. I know he's fine with tonight because I talked to him earlier, but I'll ask about tomorrow, too," Gerard says.

"I hope his pool is still open," Mikey says.

"I doubt it'll be. It's winter now, and he said a few months ago that he was closing it soon," Gerard says.