Avengers Preferences and Imagines

All Of Me? (Bucky Barnes)

A/N:  I went a little overboard with this one and it's kind of long but I think it was cute and I'm actually happy with it. Thanks to @writercute77 for requesting this one!

Prompt: Bucky and the reader are dating, but the reader is frustrated because Bucky is being distant with her and they never cuddle or anything. When the reader finally confronts him about it, he admits that it's because he's scared that he's somehow going to hurt her. 

Much like every morning, the rising sun peeking through my curtains woke me. By the minimal amount of light illuminating my room, I knew it was nearly 7:00 AM which meant it was time to start the day. It's not that I wasn't a morning person, I don't mind mornings really, they're a part of the job. But if given the choice, I would much rather stay in bed. Nothing beat my soft duvet, fluffy pillows, and the comfort of knowing I would wake up to my boyfriend's face. Assuming I would be met with his adorable sleepy face, I turned over to face him. Except he wasn't there; the sheets on his side of the bed were thrown back, the only indication that he had even been there at all. I placed my hand on the bed, hoping it would still be warm but I was only disappointed. I huffed angrily and rolled out of bed. This is the third time this week that I had woken up alone. Bucky had been super distant with me all week, and it was starting to get under my skin.

We had been dating for a few months now, and everything had been perfect. We went on cute dates, spent hours talking over coffee, cooked together, and more. It was bliss; the perfect relationship. We understood each other and I didn't think anything could go wrong. And then one day out of the blue, he started to pull away from me. Suddenly he was too busy with work or a new mission for date night. He trained extensively with Steve, and our once long and animated conversations had been reduced to simple, one-sentence exchanges. I knew that my boyfriend had his fair share of problems that he was still working through and that didn't bother me. When he asked me out, we had a serious conversation about us taking it slow, and we've been doing just that since. I'm just happy to be with him so I let him set the pace for our relationship; allowing him to choose what he was comfortable with and when. Physical contact and affection were still something that he was unsure about, so I try my hardest not to push. He isn't a cuddler but yet he's always more than content to get into bed with me at night, and I never argue. He stays on his side and I stay on mine, the two of us never coming into contact.

After getting ready for the day, I put my headphones in and stomped out into the kitchen. I didn't want to be disturbed while I wallowed in frustration and drank my morning coffee. I grabbed a mug and my breakfast and took a seat on one of the bar stools at the island. I was fine with respecting Bucky's boundaries and whatnot; if he didn't want to cuddle with me, or kiss me, or whatever, I could find a way to live with that if he wasn't there yet. What I couldn't deal with was him being so distant from me that he was basically ignoring me. When he asked me out he had seemed so uncertain about it; it was a big jump for him. And as much as I wanted to be with him too, I asked him to seriously consider if this was something that he felt ready for and if it were something that he truly wanted.  I knew that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to commit to a relationship that wasn't wanted by both of us. He had assured me that although he felt more comfortable taking things slow; this was something that he wanted more than anything, and that he was ready for it. That was over four months ago now, and I was beginning to suspect that he had been wrong.

My downward spiral was interrupted by a hand waving in front of my face, desperately trying to catch my attention. My head snapped up quickly, didn't they know that the headphones meant I didn't want to be bothered? Noticing Steve standing in front of me, I sighed and yanked my headphones out of my ears and put on the most convincing fake smile I could manage, I didn't need to give him a reason to ask questions. I only raised an eyebrow in response to the man standing before me, earning me a laugh on his part. "I was asking if you wanted a refill," Steve asked as he held up the coffee pot. I simply nodded my head yes. "You look like you need it" he noted as he filled my cup for me. "Gee thanks, Cap," I grumbled as I brought the cup to my lips. He grabbed his own cup and his newspaper and came around the island to sit on the barstool beside me. I loved Steve, I did. He had been like an older brother to me ever since I had come here, but I wasn't really in the mood for his cheery demeanor and questioning right now. "Talk to me." he pushed and I gave him the best smile I could manage under the circumstances. "Nothing to talk about," I replied as I continued working away at my breakfast.