Avengers Preferences and Imagines

SMAU: Afflictions (Bucky Barnes)

A/N: Thanks to @writercute77 for letting me bounce ideas off you and for your help!

PROMPT: You are born with the ability to feel your soulmate's pain.

Pain. What a uniquely personal sensation. When we're hurting, no one else in the world can understand how we each perceive pain. Nobody in the world that is, except for your soulmate. You're born with the ability to feel your soulmate's pain: physical emotional, the context didn't matter, any pain they felt, you could feel.

Or at least that's what people told me. I had grown accustomed to hearing stories about the phenomenon from my closest friends and family over the course of my life. I experienced the peculiar nature of the experience vicariously through the people around me. Why? Because I didn't have a soulmate. I knew without a doubt that I didn't have a soulmate. There was simply no way that any man, as tough as he may be, could go through his entire life thus far without feeling any significant pain. It was impossible, everyone felt excruciating pain at least once in their life, and emotional pain more times than anyone would ever willingly admit. But I had gone over twenty years without feeling any pain that wasn't my own, and in that time I had come to accept the painful truth.

The first time I felt it, the feeling shocked me out of my peaceful slumber. I had been dreaming contently; fantasizing about what it would be like if I really did have a soulmate, how much different my life would be, what my future would be like, and more. But my pleasant dream was cut short by the excruciating feeling that was now cutting through my head. Not being able to bear it, I screamed out in pain, causing my best friend to come running into my room. "(y/n)! Hey are you alright? What's wrong?" Steve asked, his voice stricken with panic as he shook my arm, desperately trying to get me to talk to him. I shook my head vigorously, desperate to clear the feeling from my mind. "It feels like- someone's trying to fry my brain." I hissed out in between ragged breaths, as the electrical current continued to course throughout my mind. Steve rubbed soothing circles on my back as I collapsed into him; the pain too much for me to bear. The sensation went on for what seemed like hours before it finally subsided enough for me to form coherent sentences.

When the pain had finally reduced to a dull throbbing in my temples, I was able to find my words once again although I was a bit breathless. "They're hurting him Steve" I whispered into my best friend's chest as my tears continued to stain the fabric of his t-shirt. Not knowing what to say, Steve only hummed in agreement as he continued to rub my back. As I came back to my senses, I noticed that I was aware of other new sensations; ones that had been overridden by the astonishing pain in my head. Physically, I noticed that the top of my left arm hurt, almost as if it had been injured somehow; but I couldn't place my finger on what felt wrong about it. Once I paid attention to it, my soulmate's emotional pain slammed into me like a loaded truck. Pain was hardly the right word to use to describe it. This wasn't pain, this was pure anguish as his emotional battle raged within him. Guilt, terror, sadness, longing, and more fought for dominance in both his head and his heart. But over all of that, I couldn't shake how cold I felt now. The cold was beyond bone-chilling as it settled over me, leaving me feeling as if I would never get warm again.

This cycle continued for weeks on end, I would go to sleep only to be awoken by the unbearable feeling of what I could only describe as my brain being electrified. Every time Steve was there to comfort me until the feeling had finally subsided. Until one night I woke up screaming once again, and Steve didn't come to my rescue; Natasha did. "Where. Is. He." I breathed out in between jolts of pain, worried for my best friend's safety. "I don't know (y/n). This isn't like him, it's late." Natasha replied quietly, worry lacing her own voice as she hung onto me. Before I could ask any more questions, the bedroom door opened and shut quietly as someone made their way into my room. Looking up I saw Steve standing in front of the doorway, no trace of a smile on his face like usual. Instead, he looked exhausted and worn down. Pushing through the pain, I beckoned for him to sit down with me on the bed. "You ok?" I asked him with as few words as I could manage as I put my head on his shoulder to comfort him the best I could. He stumbled over what to say for a moment before finding the right words to use. "Someone shot Fury. I went after the shooter. He was fast. Strong. Had a metal arm. He got away..." Steve admitted as he hung his head in shame, evidently blaming himself for how things had turned out.