You needed a change from your simple, monotone life. Maybe the boy you met in a coffee shop and his seven friends were the change you needed. However, you didn't expect quite this much change.
"Why are you naked and in the woods? It's cold!"
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You stood in the snow, marvelling at the colorful flowers standing around a stone bench. "San," you turned to the boy who so graciously brought you back outside, "are you okay?"
He was shaking again, fighting off the same feelings as before. His sense of urgency didn't help him at all either. "Y/N, I'm going to keep bringing you out here until I say it to you," he quietly mumbled with his hands balled up in fists on his legs.
He kept his eyes glued to the ground, watching as snow fell on top of the spinning black hole, threatening to suck everything in once again. His sanity would go with it, he feared. "Then say it when you're ready," he looked up to see you with a gentle smile, your nose pink once again from the cold.
You put your hand on his shoulder, running your thumb reassuringly over the cloth of his jacket. "I'll wait for you, as long as you want me to," you inocently dropped to his eye level. "I won't forget about you."
His eyes, staring into your own with shock, went back to the ground. The hole was only growing bigger, he could feel his mind slipping into it. But he was going to do this, no matter what. He needed to.
He needed to tell her why he was leaving them so soon.
"Y/N," he whispered, his breath making a white puff as he did so. His cheeks were pink as well. His face felt warmer than his pocketed hands. The hole began to shrink below him.
Your words of encouragement had given him the strength to fight off the dark cloudiness in his head. He lifted his head to face you.
"Y/N, I love-" he began to say, his eyes fluttering as he did so. He caught sight of the snowflakes in your hair and eyelashes, and he just knew it would be worth any reaction you gave him if it meant you at least knew that he loved you.
You gasped quietly as you heard the word. He heard it. The black hole immediately pounced back to life, sucking at his emotional stability again. It was painful. He was slipping away.
He had to retreat again. "I love Wooyoung!" He quickly shouted. "Yup, I have the biggest, fattest crush on Jung Wooyoung. Y'caught me. Wooyoung is the sexiest, handsomest, funniest, kindest man I've ever met and I am so in love with him."
San, shut the fuck up.
"Really?" You asked, feeling a little disappointed. You quickly replaced the feeling with happiness for San.
No, what?!
"Yep! Big-ass crush on him. I'd marry him if he had the documents."
"Do you want help?" You tenderly asked, your hand returning to your side. "Because I can make it happen."
"NO!" San shouted, taking you aback.
San quickly laughed and shook his head, defensively waving his hands. "Sorry, I mean, no. I don't want to act on it because he already has someone he loves."
You bit your nail. "Who?"
San shrugged. "Some corgi he had dated before we got him. He won't tell us the full story, but it seems like it had really broken him. He still looks for anything he can of her to this day, even though it's been years since he lost her."
A sudden wave of sadness overcame you. "'Lost' her?" You asked, already knowing the meaning.
He nodded somberly. "All I know is that he watched her go."
You couldn't even begin to explain your emotions at that moment. Just hearing everything Wooyoung's been through in his life to be with his brothers was enough to shatter a piece of your heart.
San shook his head, making a blublublubluh sound as he did so before slapping his cheek a few times.
"Ripping off a band-aid," he had said to himself before standing up and grabbing your shoulders.
Your captivating eyes held him hostage as your lips parted slightly. His gaze held one and only one mission: to overpower your own. If your stare didn't fluster him, then maybe he could get the words out.
San squeezed your shoulder. "I don't have a crush on Wooyoung."
You stayed silent, ushering him to explain himself. He sighed. "I l- fuck, I can't do this with you looking at me like that."
You let out a noise of confusion before San pulled you into him. You felt his warm chest against your own, the rise and fall of his breathing pushing you away and pulling you closer.
His breaths were warm against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. The shiver only caused him to hold you closer.
The way his hair delicately tickled your face sent a flurry of butterflies into your stomach. You could feel the heat of his cheeks, and you were positive that he could feel the same from you. His hands which previously held your shoulders now separated from their symmetry.
His left arm was wrapped around your back, holding you close to him. His hand was splayed flat against the middle of your back.
It gave you a sense of security you didn't know you needed. Hell, it gave him a sense of security he knew he needed. If he were to see your reaction while telling you how he felt, he'd suddenly "have a crush on Wooyoung" again.
His right hand was against your head, lightly holding your face past his own. His cologne was a familiar scent from the night he climbed into your bed with you, a welcoming smell. It smelled like safety.
San pulled you into him even closer than before. He let out a quiet laugh, the throatiness of his laughter resonating into your ear. "I'm sorry," he excused himself, bringing his hand from behind your head to clear his throat quickly. He let it drop to hold your waist.
"It's just been so long since I've felt confident enough to be this emotionally open with someone," he continued, listening to the vibrations of your pounding heart.
You tried to pull your head back to look at him as you felt a tear drop onto you, the cold of the air immediately chilling your skin. With a sniffle, San wiped his eyes. "If I look at you, I'll panic again and back out. Just give me one more second to say it, please."
You hummed silently, bringing your arms around him as well to calm both of you down. His heart broke as he thought of how soon he would have to run away now.
He shut his eyes, craving intimacy. He pulled his forehead to your own as he held on to your waist and back, not once opening his eyes. He could feel your breaths fan across his lips as your mouths nearly touched.
"Y/N, I've fallen so deeply for you, that it hurts," he chuckled.
His hand went to your cheek to run his thumb over it. His eyes swung open, leaving you to stare into his yellow eyes as his deepest self, the core of his soul, opened itself to you.
