Bullet in the Heart - Professor Lupin

I'm not a quitter

My heart was beating quite fast as I walked down the many staircases to the dungeons, if dad found out that I got a detention on the first day of school there would be big trouble. My feet bounced down the stairs when I eventually arrived in the dark dungeon where Snape stood at his desk waiting for me. I sighed and prepared myself to have to probably clean some toxic potions that went wrong or hunt for rats like I had to do last year. 

"Your late" Snape simply stated before turning with his whole black cloak following him. I slumped after him to the his store room. It was filled with jars, every jar containing a different coloured substance from shit brown to jade to rose. 

"You, Miss Bluehorn are going to arrange my substances in colour order, and don't even think about using magic because that will just end up in more time being spent together and I gather neither of us would enjoy that very much." Snape looked me up and down and then strode out towards the great hall. 

"Wait Professor what about my dinner!" I shouted after him hoping I'd be let out a little earlier. 

"I thought food makes you unhappy' " he scoffed and with that he was gone. That made my heart drop for a moment. That was was my problem, my pain he didn't get to use it against me, especially being one of the few that knew about it. 

I got about half way in sorting all sorts of of things when I remembered I had discovered a little passageway to a secret little garden outside the castle last year during one of my many detentions. I thought maybe I could have a quick fag and then come back before he noticed. I carefully shut the door and slipped through a few corridors and doors before I reached the garden. It was so peaceful, the air was fresh, the stars were bright and I could just about hear the owls from the astronomy tower. I dropped to the floor and lit my self rolled cigarette with my new muggle lighter I found on the floor in diagon alley in the summer. I enjoyed the smoke filling my lungs letting all my feeling go for a moment. Suddenly, I heard footsteps but not from inside, I held my breath and prayed it was just stupid Slytherins going for a smoke. I listened as the footsteps grew louder. I looked up and saw a dark figure, a tall man but I couldn't see his face, the light was in my direction. 

"I heard smoking kills Miss Bluehorn" the voice was familiar, deep but calm. 

"That's the whole point" I said cautiously in case the person was a threat, "and anyways I'm not a quitter".

"I wouldn't have thought any less" the person laughed and then I realised it was the Professor's laugh. SHIT! 

"Does that mean you've seen my records now?" I exhaled the smoke anxiously.

"Well I've only seen your school records which aren't exactly impressive but the other things I've just heard stories about" he moved closer, now the right side of his face glistened in the light. I could see his dark eye bags and the engraved scars. 

"And what do you think? Am I the smart of the rebellious one?" I tilted my head to see more of his face and he did the same. 

He came even closer, "May I?", I nodded as he sat down next to me on the damp grass. We were enclosed my a maze of bushes and tall plants. 

"Now how did you find my secret spot then?" I whispered secretly whilst staring up at the beautiful blanket of stars. 

"Your spot?" he began to laugh, "No, I used to come down here with my friends during my time at Hogwarts!" I was surprised that I wasn't the only one to figure out this secret. "You know you actually remind me of one of my friends from my time at Hogwarts, he also rolled his own cigarettes." I looked up at him. 

"Oh really, what became of him? I would like to know so that I know what I am in store for" I joked to lighten the conversation. 

He looked at the floor and a face of disappointment masked his face, "Oh no, nothing became of him actually", he frowned and looked upset. "What are you doing down here then?" he tried to change the subject. 

"Oh, I am actually in detention with Snape at the moment but I needed a break. Oh shit - I mean-  sorry I just swore - please don't tell him that I was out here - or that I was - smoking - oh shit - crap I just did it again" I became quite nervous which was unusual for me.

"Calm down, I won't tell a soul, so long as you don't tell anyone about our - I mean - this secret spot" he stuttered, I found it quite funny. 

I stood up and chucked my fag on the floor, pulled down my sleeves, "Thanks Professor, anyway I owe you one, you defended my tits remember?" I winked and went off down the many corridors to continue sorting Snape's stash leaving the Professor speechless.