Freedom of Fate ~ Castielxreader

Dear Winchesters, Aka Sam And Dean

Aka my brothers.

I'm getting old, not as old as you Dean obviously, but old. And I'm tired. The life we've lead boys, it's what normal people watch on TV or read in books. But they get to put their books down or turn the TV off when they've had enough excitement and go to sleep. We don't get that privilege and I can't sleep. I know where this road ends for us, and I can't face losing either of you. I would simply die.

It was always an accident that we met. It was never a mistake, but I know I wasn't meant to stay forever. I love you both. I can't remember the faces of my first family. When I try to remember my father who gave me my first beer, I see your face Dean. When I think of my mother who'd take care of me when I was ill, I see your face Sam. When I think of my older brother and when he taught me how to drive I see you Dean, and we're fixing the Thunderbird and you have grease on your forehead and when I laughed at it you threw a rag at me. When he helped me study for my finals I see you Sammy, and we're sitting in the library and reading, then you'd notice me dozing off and you'd get a me a coffee and an energy bar, when I'd fallen asleep you carried me to bed.

I don't know what changed and when it changed, but I can't watch you boys get hurt anymore because I will never be convinced it wasn't my fault.

Please know I will never forget you.

Please understand I have to do this, to save all of us.

Please don't look for me, you won't find me. Disappearing comes easy to me, and you don't have to torture yourself with the disappointment.

I believe in you boys. I know you can save the world, but I can't and I'll only slow you down.

I love you and I will always miss you.

Goodbye.

P.S if you see Crowley kick him in the balls for me, he owes me money.