WANDERLUST , five hargreeves

VIII. | EIGHT

"Anyone care to explain?" Five got up from his seat and went to get a cup of coffee.

"Well, the first time he tried he got stuck in an apocalypse and stopped me from aging for 17 years." Y/n sat back down.

"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls." Diego spoke up.

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday." Five explained, "Any more questions, Elliott?"

"...Uh, no."

"You're missing the picture. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president." Diego tried to get everyone back on track.

"A cabal?" Luther asked before taking a bite of the eggs he had cooked.

"Dear god- ignore him. Personally, I think we only have one option."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that, Y/n?"

"It's about time we get the umbrella academy back together, don't you think?"

"Oh, hell yeah. Family meeting." Diego agreed.

"Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?" Luther asked.

"You two still a thing?" Diego asked. He stayed silent. "Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married." Luther told him.

"Whoa. Dude, that's rough." "I can handle it." He fake laughed.

"I'll get her." Five sighed. "Could you get Vanya with out squeezing her to death?" He asked Luther.

He glared at him. "I'll try."

Five teleported off somewhere. "Wait-" Elliott cut himself off. "What should I do?"

"Prepare for company, of course." Y/n laughed to herself.

"𝐘'𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐉𝐄𝐋𝐋-𝐎 used to be a delicacy. You know, in order to make it, you gotta boil down a whole mess of hooves... horses, cows, pigs, it doesn't matter but not everybody has a mess of hooves just lying around." Elliott tried his best to make small talk.

Luther had gone and picked up Vanya, so now her, Luther, Diego, Elliott and Y/n were waiting on Five to show up with Allison and Klaus.

"It wasn't until a couple people from new york figured out how to dry it out so that the rest of us could have a chance... to enjoy this ambrosia." He continued.

"If we have some, will you shut up?" Diego asked.

"Maybe." He scooped some into a cup.

Luther made a face and turned to Vanya, "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty shitty, to be honest."

"Where would you say you are on a scale from one to... ending all life on this planet?" Diego asked her while flipping a knife in his hand.

Y/n kicked his leg. "Really?"

"Diego," Luther leaned forward, "Put the knife away, you idiot. She's fine."

"The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended midair, sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles." He stopped flipping the knife and pointed it at Luther. "I think I'm allowed a little time to process."

"Oh, I would love to see an energy tentacle." Elliott chimed in.

"No, you wouldn't." Y/n grimaced at the memory of them.

"I don't remember what I did, but I'm sorry... if that means anything." Vanya apologized, sincerely.

"It does. Just going through a lot right now. There's this... girl that I like. I thought she liked me, but it turns out that she's..."

The door opened in the distance, the group got up to go look over the railing.

"She's what? A cheater?" Y/n asked Diego, trying not to laugh.

"You can be a real bastard sometimes, you know." He pointed the knife at her.

"What happened to me being your favorite?"

"That was when we were 10."

"Hello?" Allison called out and went back to conversing with Klaus.

"Oh, wow." Klaus said as he looked up at the five by the railings. "I know this is impossible, but... did we all get sexier?"

Y/n waved at Klaus, he did a small wave back.

"Vanya." Allison said while looking at her. "I can't believe I have a sister." Vanya said and made her way down the stairs.

"I'm-" Y/n cut herself off, letting the comment slide, she heard Diego laughing next to her. "And I'm the bastard?"

- authors note !
sorry i took so long to
publish this :( i feel better
now tho but im going to
school in person full time
now which i haven't done
in over a year-