Sort of Deadly

40 - Fly, You Fools!

Ravenna turns to face us. There is poison in her pupils. ‘You next,' she promises. ‘At last. All humans together . . . who’s that one?’

She points at Niffy. This seems to have a paralyzing effect on Niffy and she turns mute again.

Ravenna clicks her claws. ‘Ah, you must be Toby. Welcome to your death. But first . . . we’ll deal with the girl who has a red nest on her head.’

Her poison gaze is on me now. I tighten my jaw, clench my fists, strain my muscles.

Ravenna lurches at me with those leathery wings of hers fluttering like crazy – but a stake impales her through the chest along the way. Only sand leaks out. Nevertheless, it’s so satisfying to hear her moans of pain.

‘Aar, that was dangerous, you could have killed somebody!’

However, Aar doesn’t listen to Niffy's annoying newfound voice. He is the one who threw the stake. Saved me. He puts behind the couple feet separating us and collects me in his scrawny, sweaty arms. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt,' he whispers, so close to my ear I get the tingles. ‘I don’t ever want you to get hurt, Bee. Do you understand me?’

I would nod, but Ravenna dissolves as sand and re-forms as herself again. Aar pulls away from the embrace and grabs my hand instead.

In the sky, we see Es and Goof getting the worst of a fight against some unusually brutal ravens.

The bird woman just laughs like a carburetor. ‘How fun. Two birds with one stone.’

‘Three birds, actually.’ Marra saunters to my other side and grabs my right hand. Then he spoils the moment by calling: ‘Niffy, come on.’

But that lying poopsicle doesn’t move. She looks catatonic. ‘I . . . I don’t want to die.’

Yeah, right, genius! As if we do!

‘There is no outlet, Niffy,' Marra says to her. ‘Come on. At least we’ll go to afterlife together.’ 

‘I . . . I don’t want to die though!’ Niffy is crying now. Despite her being a total lying scum, I feel a stab of pity for her.

Ravenna shrugs. ‘Toby can watch her friends die first then.’

She starts towards us, only suddenly the many-mouthed blob monster arrives like a gust of wind and smashes into her. His countless gooey mouths snap and yap at her. One of these mouths shouts at us: ‘Fly, you fools!’

Aar, who is a die-hard Lord of the Rings fan (the movies, not the books; I for one think the books are way better, but he just won’t agree to read them!), mimics Gandalf: ‘No, it’s more like, “Fly, you fools!” '

‘This isn’t the time for being a bloody thespian, Aar!’ I tell him.

‘Why not? The blob dude seems to have it handled.’

Turns out, no. A couple of mammothic ravens bury their beaks into Bob’s goo and lift him off of Ravenna.

‘Gah!’ The bird one picks herself up. ‘Bob! Whatever the cluck would you do that for?’

‘Because you’re a bi - ' Bob glances at us kids. ‘Because you’re not a very nice person!’

‘Wait!’ Marra says, dropping my hand. ‘Bob! You’re the one Lobster Queen Elizabeth One-Point-Five told us about!’

‘You met her too?’ I ask.

‘I mean, I just said so, so yes. Did your wits leave you or something when you moved to {Undis-2-closed}?’

I blush, but not for long. Ravenna roars: ‘What the cluck is going on here? Humans! Always cluck-cluck-clucking! Crack-crack-cracking like crackers that have no business cracking!’

‘Wow,' Aar mutters. Niffy is still in a state of catatonia.

‘Explain everything to me!’ commands Ravenna.

‘We will,’ says Marra, ‘but tell your bloody pigeons to leave our men alone.’

‘Butterflies,' Aar suggests.

‘Yes, to leave our butterflies alone.’

‘Fine,' caws Ravenna. ‘But after you finish telling me everything about how you got here, you all die. Together.’

As if by some telepathic connection, her ravens fly over to a stadium-sized shed beside the castle of the Grahi Witch. Goof lands next to us, Es patting her back and chirping: ‘You did good, Goofy-doofy!’

‘Are you okay, Es?’ Marra asks her.

‘I am better than okay, Mirryamoo! I kicked so many birdie butts, it was giggly-doo!’

Marra smiles tiredly at her.

Rasthrum lies bleeding on the ground.

Everything just seems so hopeless.

Ravenna scoffs. ‘Go on. Tell us how you got here. And everything that happened in between. My little hornbills can have their feast afterwards.’

5th update of the day! I'm publishing them just as I'm writing them, I'll do the polishing later.

There might be a couple mistakes, I'll edit later. I'm on a pretty good writing spree for now.

What do you think of these chapters?

Thanks for reading either way (◍•ᴗ•◍)