360

39. Stay

Milena

I felt unsure about this whole thing with Jake but even more about the fact that I met him, without telling Jason. I knew that somewhen he would eventually find out about it, start bitching at me and then leave it. Humming at the thought, I took a deep breath. This was a roller coaster relationship and even though I never wanted something like that, or a relationship at this age at all, I fought for it because Jason was worth it.

I didn't exactly knew if he felt the same way but honestly, it didn't matter that much to me, at least not in that kind of aspect. I was going to give myself to him, regardless of what he would do because honestly, I loved him. And I loved him with all my heart and every tiny little cell I had. Nancy couldn't hold me back from him; my parents couldn't hold me back from him; even he couldn't hold me back from himself. It was a scary thought but I never knew it was true that unconditional love exists.

Of course I wasn't going to listen to what Jake had to say. As if Jason ever laid a hand on a woman, except for sex for sure. I couldn't imagine that he would ever beat or slap a female. Never. Not even in my nightmares. That might be because I got to know a side of him that I think barely someone ever had discovered or even knew that existed. The night he was standing in front of me, crying because he was deeply hurt. It proved me that even the oh so toughest guy can sob like a baby and it sometimes doesn't take much for it to happen.

"Hey" I smiled softly until I recognized something was wrong, incredibly wrong. Somehow, I was sure he would sooner or later open up to me, let me know his deepest secret and guide me into his true self, not just the tough one but the one that feared rejection. I never expected to see him here, tonight, on my bed with puffy red eyes that were looking deep into my harmless ones.

"You said it's okay to cry, so here I am." His voice cracked, a shrug leaving his shoulders as if he was trying to shrug the world off. "Jason" I mumbled, almost running over to him before cupping his cheeks with my small hands compared to his. "What happened?" I muttered, a short pain ripping through my heart, seeing him like this. He didn't answer, instead he leaned into my touch as if he only wanted to be held by me this time. Not the other way around. And I didn't think about my actions twice. I held him.

Wrapping my arms around his back, he loosely sneaked his arms around my waist, letting the tears hit the skin on my cold shoulder. I hushed him, my hands stroking his beautiful locks, trying to somehow calm him down. "Hey, it's okay." I cooed softly into his ear, pecking his neck before returning to my spot; in his arms. 

"They destroyed it." He whispered, his voice shaking like the earth during a quake. I took a deep breath, not sure if I really wanted to know it since it surely would be something about my oh so nice and innocent cousin. "Who destroyed what?" I asked as I finally had the guts to, tightening my grip on him. "Tyson and the fags." He stuttered, pulling me close as I did so too. "They destroyed what Jason?" I mumbled, running one of my hands over his back as I buried the other in his hair. 

"The grave of my brother." He growled, trying to blink the tears away. My eyes widened instantly, "W-What?" I questioned, not sure if I heard him right. They wouldn't stoop this low, would they? But as soon as I asked myself that, I knew they indeed would. I knew that this was going too far. Way too far. And I knew that they didn't just hate each other but were disgusted about each others actions. "I'm sorry." I tried to whisper, tears welling up in my eyes too. 

Arriving home, I threw my bag on the floor, sighing softly as I got way too emotional on my way back home. But I guess, that's overthink i doing, right? Walking into the kitchen, I decided to make myself some orange juice. I never was someone to turn to alcohol, obviously, but also not in hard times. It would lessen the pain, yes, for a few hours until all the problems were back and a hangover on top of that.