The writer of my star

Bumpy roads

"No, I don't. Just guide me. What's there through?"

"Okay, now that I am deciding, let that be a surprise", Roy responded smiling.

Silence fell back in the car again and it wasn't uncomfortable anymore.

Michael Bubble started singing in the radio.

When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more..

Hearing someone hum a little bit, Tomas looked towards the passenger's side. Roy was really into the song, swaying a little bit, playing air piano. Even though Tomas couldn't clearly see, he could feel Roy making facial expression that goes with the song.

Feeling someone staring at him, Roy woke up suddenly from his trance and blushed like a teenage girl. Tomas snickered trying to hide his own smile.

"Thank you for the show, Mr. Roy"! He let out a sudden laugh seeing how embarrassed Roy was.

Roy scrunched his eyes and smiled trying to hide away his blush;

"I really like this song. I mean it's beautiful. Imagine you are in small canoe in the middle of a lake and you are hearing this song. You are with the one you love. Their face is glowing slowly from the lantern in the boat. There is nothing else around other than the starry night and the burble from the water flowing. The song flows like the water and breeze around you. Don't you think it's beautiful?"

Tomas looked at him a little perplexed. He didn't expect Roy to go full philosopher on the song. What surprised him even more was that he could see himself in the middle of a calm lake, with Roy on the other end of the canoe.

"No wonder you are a writer", Tomas replied trying to hide the sound of his suddenly raising heart beat.

"Okay, I will let you in on a secret", Roy started again.

"What?", Tomas looked at him quiet puzzled.

"I want to sing this song in front of an audience. With a whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. I saw it somewhere and I had been wanting to do it ever since."

Tomas laughed again;

"Woah! That's a nice dream. I didn't know you were a secret performer."

"No, I am not. I don't think I am that good at singing, that's why I haven't done it...yet!"

"Nice story and all, where are we going through?", Tomas asked him slightly teasing Roy.

"Oh, yes, please take the next exit from highway. The road afterwards is a bit rough, it's okay right?"

"It's a Range Rover. It can go tough terrains easily."

"That's cool. I like your car by the way. The interiors look really clean". Roy said looking around.

"It's usually not like this, my manager got it cleaned recently. I don't drive this one often though."

"Yes, I know. You usually drive your Benz when you have to drive alone".

"How do you know?"

"I mean, I have seen you coming to the set alone at times."

"Aahn, yes! I forgot we used to work together. How long has it been? One year?"

"Yes, almost."

"Where were you?", that is when Tomas started feeling his anger and disappointment coming back. Of Roy ignoring him for a long time. Of the messages that didn't receive responses.

"Ahh..I went on a trip. To Nepal, to the Himalayas.", that's when Roy also started realising why he had to go on a trip and he felt helpless again from where he have came back to. The same helplessness from an year back. He felt a lump forming in his throat and his breath becoming heavier. He started feeling suffocated and all he wanted to was jump out of the car and stop whatever was happening.

He started praying that he was dreaming, all that's happening was just a dream, not real.

"You went alone or with friends?", Tomas had to ask something as he also felt the air in the car becoming heavier.

"I went alone. I needed sometime alone to pace myself", Roy answered clearing his throat.

"That's nice. I also want to take a trip alone somewhere. Somewhere I am a nobody. I should probably  ask you tips before I do that ", Tomas said trying to lighten the mood.

Tomas could understand his own frustration but he couldn't figure Roy's reaction. He could understand Roy was trying to run away from something and whatever he was running from was not a pleasant memory. Tomas wanted to know what it was but he was scared of asking anything about it again because he wasn't sure whether he would be able to handle whatever it was.

"Wow! The road is really bumpy!" Tomas exclaimed when they got into a small pothole on the road and the whole car shaked. He was glad it happened, even though it was uncomfortable,  as it somehow woke Roy up from whatever dreamland he was in.

"Don't tell me I haven't warned!" Roy smiled opening his arms in ignorance and slightly pouting.

Tomas gritted his teeth, trying to hide his sudden urge to bite his pouted lips and tried to smile stepping on the pedal.

A bumpy road with only thick bushes growing on either side, with nothing but the light of the night sky, the two boys stared out through the windows trying to contain their thoughts and their life. If they let out the thoughts, their life will be in ruin. They kept it inside, like a ghost guarding his wealth, knowing that it would slowly kill him.