The writer of my star

The journey

Back home, Roy collapsed into his bed. He covered himself in the blanket and plummeted his face in to the pillows. Without even understanding why, tears came streaming down his face wetting the pillow and he slowly started feeling better.

He got up after a while, sat on the bed contemplating what just happened. He met Tomas. He asked about Jasmine. He said he is not interested in her. He offered him a job. Everything was okay, but Roy couldn't understand this agonising feeling he had. He sat there for a while looking around, trying to breath slowly.

He didn't know how much time has passed in this state, but when he got up from his pensive mode, he went to his closet, dragged his backpack from the upper rack of the cupboard tip-toeing. He slowly started filling the backpack with clothes, toiletries and other things moving around the room in a swift but disorderly manner.

When done, he again sat back on his bed, covered his face in his hands, elbow on his knees, thought for a little longer. He slowly got up, took his back pack, threw his phone to the bed and went outside to meet his mom and say his good bye. He knew he wanted to be gone for sometime and he knew he didn't want to hear from or about Tomas as long as he is gone.

***

Back home, Tomas couldn't understand Roy's reaction. He always acted uncomfortable around him, but today was different. Today, he was angry and disturbed. There was this depth of sadness in his eyes, something Tomas couldn't fathom. He didn't feel it was because he asked about Jasmine.

Those eyes, those eyes full of struggle and pain, Tomas couldn't read them. Tomas felt uncomfortable thinking about them. That sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt the pain he saw overpowering him. He started feeling it too, again, without understanding the reason behind them.

***

A week later, one of the writers Tomas was close to was looking for an Assistant. He was a close friend of Tomas and they used to hang out together once in a while. Tomas felt excited thinking about the possibility of meeting Roy again with his friend.

"I should message him as soon as I reach back home". Tomas kept muttering to himself all the while he was talking to his friend.

Back home, the thought of messaging Roy and getting to meet him made Tomas ticklish. Tomas opened the phone and started typing out the message.

"Hey! One of my friend is looking for an Assistant. Let's meet and talk. 10 PM at the cafe?"

Tomas got up, prepared his bath. He wanted to have a nice bath today. He got inside the tub filled it with lather. The smell of lavender filled the room sparsely lit by the small candles around. The warmth of the hot water hugged him making him feel pampered. He slowly started humming a tone he used to listen to as a kid.

The relaxing mood didn't last long. Sometime along the way, he started feeling uneasy. Uneasy for feeling this happy and relaxed. Uneasy for being this excited to meet Roy. Uneasy for getting those butterflies whenever he thinks of him.

He couldn't stay in the bath longer after that. The water wasn't soothing anymore. He felt it burning his skin and the buoyancy making him suffocate.

Getting out of bath, without even bothering to change into clothes, wrapping a towel across his waist, he collapsed into his bed. All of his elation to meet Roy had vanished into abyss by then. He looked up at the ceiling, fearing to look at his phone to see a response from Roy.

"I should postpone the plan. I cannot do it later, I have to do it now.", he lifted his phone, anticipating a response from Roy. To his surprise, the message showed a single tick, it wasn't even delivered to him.

He let out a deep sigh of relief. He hoped the message wouldn't reach him until the end of the day. Then he wouldn't have any reason to meet Roy and he will tell someone else took the job.

He breath out in solace.

***

He knew it was for the better, but Tomas kept checking his phone hoping for an apology from Roy. For not giving him a response. For not receiving the message.

A week later also, the message showed a single tick warranting no response or acceptance from Roy.

"Did something happen to him? Why is he not responding?"

Tomas paced the room up and down not sure what to do.

"It's okay if I call just once. May be he isn't getting online, it's okay if I call a friend just to ask his whereabouts. I mean, I told we could be friends in the cafe."

Tomas thought about it for a while, picking his phone, dropping it back to the bed again, repeating the process quiet a few times before he dialled Roy's number.

To his dismay, the person who answered the call was an operator letting Tomas know Roy is not reachable. Tomas felt anger creeping up his toes again. Mixed with worry and pain.

He didn't care how, he needed to talk to Roy then. He had to hear his voice. He wanted his call answered, message responded.

He needed it now.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, slowly panting. The strong eruption of emotions made him feel tired and sweaty. He clutched on his phone attempting to call Roy again, which again went unanswered.

Tomas collapsed into his bed, throwing his phone away, not caring about the clatter it made. He closed his eyes unsure what to do and how to reach him.

Roy was gone and nobody could reach him. Not Tomas, not Jasmine, not even his mom. When he comes back, Roy wouldn't remember Tomas. He would start afresh, nothing to do with cinema or writing. He will have a new life. A life where there is no Tomas.