Merder: Different Circumstances

Chapter Thirty Eight

When April came around, the ground floor to the house had a sturdy structure, with four walls, to it and the top floor was on its way to being completed. Meredith and Derek still were accepting the inside would not be decorated by their August wedding, between wedding plans and extra hours at work, but from what the exterior was showing so far, they knew it would be gorgeous in the back of their wedding photos.

As tradition in the Shepherd family, all of Derek's sisters and his mother came over to spend the weekend, something they always did before one of them got married. A day was spent with Derek alone, and then a meal out with the bride and groom to be, before the next day was spent looking at wedding arrangements with the bride herself.

"I love my family, but I am so glad they don't live close by." Derek said as he fell onto their bed.

"I think it's sweet, all of your sisters looking out for you, Nancy does like me now, doesn't she? She didn't spend the whole of today convincing you that you need to hate me." Meredith asked, the fear evident in her voice, as she applied a light layer of makeup for the meal.

"After some words with her, she has had a change of attitude, but if she's ever a bitch I'm going to apologise in advance, you've seen what she's like."

"Mhm."

"Did I ever tell you how gorgeous you look in that dress?" Derek said, more as a statement rather than a question, coming up behind Meredith and placing kisses down her neck.

He brushed her curls behind her shoulder and nipped at her neck, which she couldn't help but involuntarily squirm into his chest as he did so. After his kisses worked their way up to her jawline, they soon travelled down again, to her collar bone and then lower again.

As much as she was enjoying the sensation, Meredith pushed him away and giggled at the pout that had formed on his face. She ran her fingers gently over the two lovebites that were beginning to appear, and quickly covered them with foundation and rearranged her hair to conveniently fall over them.

"I refuse to go for dinner with your mom and you sisters with sex hair."

"You're no fun Mer."

"Tuesday night." She whispered into his ear before leaving the room, leaving him to briefly relive the evening.

When they arrived, Derek's mom and sisters were already sat around the table, leaving two seats next to each other and between Carolyn and Amelia. Carolyn insisted on her future daughter-in-law sitting beside her and that left Meredith facing Nancy from across the table, who was already analysing her every move.

Their up coming wedding was the centre of the conversation closely followed by the house that was currently being built on their land, however Meredith often tried to turn the attention away from her and Derek. Eventually the conversation turned to the children, and Meredith listened closely to the tales of her soon to be nieces and nephews.

Derek placed a hand on her thigh throughout the conversation, as Liz showed photos of her three month old to the table.

"We got about 6 hours the other night, with a dream feed, so we're exhausted but it's so worth it. He properly smiled for the first time about a month ago and for just a moment all of the sleep deprivation disappeared." She proudly said, before turning to face Meredith. "You'll understand when you're a mom."

If the photos and stories hasn't been hard enough to sit through, it felt as though Meredith had been punched in the gut and she gave a small smile as she nodded in agreement. Derek's hand tightened on her thigh significantly and when she felt the tears brimming her eyes, Meredith quickly excused herself from the table.

"I'll go." Amelia said, placing a hand on her brothers shoulder to sit him back down.

"God, I never realised she was so sensitive." Nancy commented.

"Der, I'm sorry I didn't realise that would upset her. I know she means a lot to Ashley."

Derek quickly tried to change the conversation, not wanting to explain their loss, and his sisters went along with the switch, but his mother sat there in silence, knowing that something had happened, but unsure as to what.

Meanwhile, Meredith stared herself down in the mirror, brushing the single tear down each cheek away and tucking her hair behind her ears. Amelia walked into the bathroom, expecting Meredith to rush into a cubical, but she just gave her the same pained smile before returning to the mirror.

"I've ruined the meal haven't I?"

"No, not at all. Look Liz didn't mean to imply that you don't mean anything to Ashley, she's always telling me of how much you've done for her. I think she meant more so the newborn milestones." Amelia apologised.

"It's not that. I know Addison's her mother, Ashley knows I know that and she knows I never want to take her role. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"Three months ago I, I erm had a miscarriage." Meredith said quietly.

"Oh."

"I was so excited, and Derek was too. But when we went for the ultrasound there was no heartbeat."

"Meredith, I'm so sorry."

The two of them stood in an awkward silence as a few more tears slipped down Meredith's cheeks and she was hunched over the sink in an attempt to calm herself. Amelia stood aside unsure of how to react, before placing a hand on Meredith's back and rubbing big circles.

"I didn't like to be hugged after I lost my baby, I liked having my space." She explained after a minute.

"You? When?" Meredith asked before quickly adding. "Sorry you don't have to answer that."

"No, it was a couple of years ago. Anencephalic. I carried him to term and donated his organs."

"Amelia, I had no idea, I'm so sorry. Derek never told me."

"Yeah well, he doesn't know. Neither does my mom or my sisters. They didn't want much to do with me back then, so I didn't tell them about any of it. Don't feel like you have to explain yourself my sisters."

"You're definitely my favourite." Meredith laughed, making Amelia laugh in reply.