Deep Bruises of War (Finnished)

IV The Bastard of the Dungeons

Snape stood still over the desk in his private quarters. Silver, misty liquid of his memories waved in the bowl of the Pensieve. Now, that his mind was clear and he gave his previous conversations with Granger another look, Potions Master was reassured that the girl has been suffering from strong trauma. He swore to himself. How could he possibly help her anyway? She needed a highly qualified healer, not an old bat. He was an exceptional brewer. That was true, he had to admit it without false modesty. But he was not a medic. Not a psychiatrist. She should have found a muggle doctor or a therapist. Maybe in St. Mungo was somebody crazy enough to heal her.

He was wrong person to do this, to even try. He struggled to explain it to Minerva so many times, but he always failed in that task.

Every time she appeared, Granger made him angry just by standing or sitting near. He got furious the very moment she started to talk or to move.

And why was that?

He knew the answer perfectly well. Hermione Jane Granger reminded Snape of his younger self: the proud, the fearless, the dumb-head. She was a female, Gryffindor version of him. The most unbearable hybrid he could ever imagine. Dark look of her eyes, stress and pain tightening all the muscles of her face. Lips pressed to themselves as she was trying to hide them. Fists always ready to fight, legs always urging to run. A total looser of the game they all were playing these past few years. She felt strange, unfamiliar with any one ‒ no matter if it indeed was a completely new person or actually her good, old friend. She was angry, tormented to the breaking point, dreaming only horrible nightmares and always waking up to the horror of everyday life. That was her. That's been him.

That has been his reality for longer that he remembered. That became her reality too now. He knew why he's suffered so much, by why has she?

"What did you do, Miss Granger?" he asked the empty room.

He knew it was the key to her trauma and ‒ despite his deep disgust about searching the mind of that unaware girl ‒ Severus Snape has decided to get the things done. In the end of the long path of his commitments, laid the land of freedom. Land of never-ending peace and quietness.

For now he owed the old witch too much to just get away without doing her one last favour. She cared for Granger, her most precious lioness. Snape's respect for his headmistress was to strong to deny her plead. No matter the cost, no matter what he personally thought and felt about the task, he swore to safe her. He swore to spy on her, break her if it was necessary, fight her resistance. Get to know and understand her fillings and actions like they were his own. He was going to learn who he was and who she became. And he hated every part of the idea.

A stupid girl, a grown child. She's been always stubborn and careless. Not better than Potter and his redhead friend. Snape had no further desire to talk with the chit, not mentioning teaching her and especially working with her. Granger has been a pain in his ass since the day she arrived in the castle. His stomach twitched in the pure disgust every time he saw the now-it-all expression appear on her face.

Then he heard knocking.

He swore and made it to the door.

"Who's that?" he cast the spell so the one outside could hear him.

Damn him, stupid bastard. It was past midnight. Whoever it was must have lost his mind to disturb his rest.

"Excuse me, professor..."

Speak of the devil...

"What is it, Miss Granger? What is so important to you that cannot wait until the morning?" he asked without opening the door of his quarters.

Stupid witch.

"Well, I don't want to sound rude, but you promised me the Sleeping Draught and never came, so I waited and waited and...

"And decided to finally stalk me in my own room? Yes I can guess the rest, Miss Granger, don't bother yourself with further explanations."

Yes, he was a douche and it apparently was his fault. He's forgotten to give her the damn elixir and she must have been to scared to fall asleep. So, eventually, she took the chance and reminded him. He was a bit surprised, he must admit. She wasn't as proud as he remembered, the war changed this and that.

"And, to be clear, you behave rude, Granger", he continued intimidating her even more. His precious ego hurt. He was furious. The relief was coming upon him with every mean word spoken. "You come here, in the middle of the night and ask for help like I was your daddy. Who, if I have to remind you, I am not."

At last he went too far. He's already knew, he would do it, but even though he pushed, blind for her sorrow.

From behind the closed door, he heard her weeping. Did she lost her parents? Of course she lost them. Eventually he learned something about her. It was a pour explanation for his horrible behaviour, but he didn't like the idea of admitting his feilures. He grunted and opened the door.

"Come in" he threw out.

She listened.

Snape looked at her. Cuddled up in a burgundy cardigan, red on face, she looked like a smashed hairy tomato. He smirked.

"You are a night wanderer, aren't you, Miss Granger?" his voice softened a little.

"It seams so" she managed to smile. Damn him. She had no intention of being rude. It was his hate for her that made him see all the girls actions that twisted way.

"Here," he handed her a white clean wipe.

He felt guilty. Yes. He was a bastard, and old prick. He deserved all the names he has been called. It was deep in his nature to hurt people. Even those already broken.

"Do you want some tea?"

A short look of her eyes was enough as for the answer. She feared that he could poison her, or something. He could, but he wouldn't. It was possible for him to brew a poison, but he had no desire to kill the girl. But Granger was not so sure anymore.

He sighed.

"Wait here, Miss Granger. Sit on that chair, if you mind, but not anywhere else. Also don't touch anything, take anything, don't try to be nosy. I will bring you the Draught."

He went out.

When he came back, she was already gone. The tissue was lying untouched, and a note was left for him next to white piece of fabric.

"Thanks for all your concern and care professor."

So she was proud.

He smiled. Brave girl.

Severus Snape with a bitter grimace on his face send a house elf with the bottle of elixir to Granger's chambers.