His Words (bxb)

chapter one

Saturday, September 12, 2020

✧noah✧

"Listen up, you disastrous excuses for swimmers! Before we get into today's sesh, I need to introduce our newest addition to the squad. This is Elijah Beckett and he's officially a part of our family, so please be nice and welcome him properly."

That was the day I first laid my eyes on him. We were about to start our swim training session at five in the morning. That's right... Swimming... At five in the morning. And it was summer break, too. Pathetic for the average teenager, but I need something to keep me out of the house for as long as possible.

He looked... interesting. He had short, curly black hair and greenish-grey eyes. His irises were green in the centre and grey towards the outside and they seemed to be pulling me in. He was quite tall and a little more fit than the average swimmer. He obviously worked out outside of swimming. And he was definitely on the more attractive side.

Is now a good time to mention I'm gay?

He had an uncaring expression as Coach Mike introduced him to us, putting his cap and goggles on. He stood out amongst the rest of the squad and even more amongst the rest of the boring people in this shit town. After living here for seventeen years you realise that most people here are basically breathing H&M mannequins - no genuine personalities, no hopes and dreams, no sparkle in their eyes, just the same routines and same faces day in and day out.

Elijah wasn't like that. He stuck out like a sore thumb... and I liked that. It made him seem like the change I prayed for desperately every night to whatever God is out there because, God, was life getting cruelly boring.

I'll have to talk to him after training.

We continued our session as usual that day. It was quite difficult that day (we have a competition coming up, hence the intense sets) and my body was starting to shut down. I climbed out of the pool and sat on the edge after everyone started the next set. Coach approached me with a look I have seen before a hundred times.

"When was the last time you ate, Noah?" I was anxious under his intense, but genuinely concerned, expression.

After a few moments I replied, "Lunch... on Thursday." It was Sunday today. Three days.

Not enough.

"How much did you sleep last night?" I kept fiddling with my fingers and picking at them.

"I-I didn't."

Coach just let out a slightly annoyed sigh. I hate to disappoint him like this considering I promised him I would eat and sleep properly after he found out about...

You disappoint to everyone around you.

"There are only fifteen minutes left. You can leave early, Cohen. Eat and rest well and come back super energised for training tonight. Promise me?" I nodded quickly, trying to sell my lie.

"I promise." He gave me a look that said 'I don't think you mean that'. He's right, I didn't. I had no intention of eating or sleeping when I got home.

I don't think any more food can fit in your stomach either way.

Nonetheless, he gave me a short nod and a pat on the shoulder and went back to micro-analysing everything about the squad's training. "Faster, Gus! My dog can doggy paddle faster than that - and he's only got three legs! Pick it up!"

I smiled as I entered the changing room. I didn't want to shower at first, but remembered I probably won't be able to once I get home. I leave one of the shower stalls with just a towel around my waist. Suddenly, I am anxious of someone seeing my unsightly body and the many scars that cover it.