after the morning i have had im ready to get away from everything but my kids.
so apparently the last 5 months hayes has been cheating on me.. with CAROLINE.
needless to say hayes is staying with her until we work things out and I've been bawling my eyes out all day.
-skipping to tomorrow-
im just now waking up at 12:30pm, and we leave tomorrow, Caroline isn't leaving until next week so I don't know is hayes is coming home with me. I just wanna cry but im staying strong for taylor and Thomas.
*knock knock* I open the door to see Hayes standing there.
"Hey, Ash.. im sorry, and I do love you and I wanna be with you but if we don't work out im not going to be with Caroline only for our baby and of course I will always be here for you and the twins." Hayes said apologizing.
"what the fvck did you just say? YALLS BABY?" i said yelling.
"she didn't tell you? that's why she came. so I could help her."
"no she didn't but whatever. go be with your baby momma. im pretty sure me and the twins will be fine without you. you may have been with them the first 12 months but you know how I feel about that. I feel betrayed. you're welcome to see them anytime but when you come over for there birthday party next week don't come with Caroline." i said tearing eyes.
I could tell I hurt him. he had the most sad look on his face and then I saw tears falling down his face.
"screw me for trying, all I want is you and all I have ever wanted was you but I guess you don't see that. I'm coming home with yall tomorrow, so I guess I will see you then..." hayes walked out looking upset.
what have I done? did I just make things worse or better?
all these thoughts rush through my head, I had to do it. I grabbed my razor blade, I've been clean for two years but I can't take this. I started cutting and the last thing I remember was blood gushing everywhere and I blacked out.
I started to wake up to a insulin smelling room.
"what am I doing here?" i said wondering.
"you blacked out when you ... cut your self.." Hayes said.
"how'd you find me? I wanted to die!"
"Ashely, I can't let you. your the love of my life, no one can replace you." Hayes said starting to tear up again.
"let's just go home, hayes." i said with a slight smile.
the doctors let us leave early because it wasn't as bad as they thought. when we arrived home I put thomas to bed and hayes put taylor to bed, and then we fell asleep shortly after.
