Leaking Infinity

TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH

ACT 2B

CHAPTER 22

TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH

...

AFTER I'VE LOCKED myself in my room, I pace around, calling her. She answers on my 4th attempt, saying, "What? I'm trying to buy a bus ticket."

"Rachel, I don't want us to break up."

There's silence before she says, "Me neither," her voice quiet, the tremble in her voice quieter.

"So don't."

"Why not? If all you're gonna do is play me around—"

"I've never played you—"

"—getting my hopes up, making me think we're going to be something more when we're not, then..."

She sounds so hurt. I wish I could make her pain go away, but I can't make my own pain go away. "I'm sorry."

"I know." More silence. "Three days."

"What?"

"I'm giving us three days to... decide. We'll think it over, and..."

"And then what?"

"And then we'll see."

And then she hangs up.

.

Robert knocks on the door, then opens it. Seeing me sitting on the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed, he rubs his hair. "Did you and your friend... fight?"

"Her name's Rachel," I say, weakly, before going back to staring at the wall.

I'm astral-projecting again. It's one of the bad ones where it's hard to think, harder to know what I'm feeling. But it's alright, though. It'll go away after a good night's sleep.

He hovers over the door, steps back, then decides to come into the room, sitting beside me on the floor. His knees are bent whilst my legs are flat.

"I'm sorry, Cammy," he says, "but they're right. You have to know that."

I blink, look down, then pull my knees up to hug it. "So was any of it real?"

"What?" He turns to me.

I don't spare him one glance. "Our friendship. Did you care about me, or did my parents force you to—"

"No, no, no, Cammy." He puts his hand on my forearm, squeezing. "I would never do that to you, ever. It's—" He hesitates. "Look, I care about you, and that's why I..." Another hesitation, or maybe he's looking for the right words. "It had nothing to do with your parents." I look at him, and he tries his best to form a smile that'll make me feel better. "It was me. Just me, Cammy."

I'm not feeling better.

"So you agree with my parents?" I ask.

"They make a good point," he says. "Honestly, I'm shocked they've let you go on like this for practically a year now."

One year.

The fact still shocks me.

"I..."

My eyes drift away from his direction. I can't say anything more than that. My throat is clogged up, not in the sense that I'm about to cry.

Robert's grip strengthens. It forces me to look back at him.

"You've got to wake up, Cammy," he says.