Dominating Love ✓

[Chapter Twenty]

We would watch them all night and I always thought how lucky they were when I was a child and being around them showed me how it should look and feel. I knew that the right guy would look at me the way my father looked at my mother.

And Riley told me that he knew Chase loved me because he looked at me the way dad had always looked at mom. I looked down at the ring on my finger and I felt a hole in my chest, one that could never be filled.

I just wished I could call her, I wanted to hear her voice and her advice, I missed how she could calm me and how she held me after a break up, when the kids teased me at school.

I missed the way she smelt and the way my dad's arms felt around me.

I couldn't help the tears that spilled from my eyes and Chase wiped them away.

"Oh baby." He pulled me against his chest and neither Sammie nor Mimi judged

"I know this must be hard for you sweetie but they're always with you." it was hard not to be childish and bitter towards Riley because it wasn't his fault they were here for this for him but not me, I thought I was past it but I just wasn't. It's been seven years and it still hurts every day.

Everyday there's something in my life I wish I could tell them about and every day I mention it Chase holds me and tells me that they already know. It's even harder now that we're getting married and starting a family and all these new experiences that I knew seven years ago they wouldn't be here for but now that it's happening it's harder than I thought it would be.

"We'll do one tier in that." Chase said and Mimi nodded

"And one in the chocolate and strawberries." I whispered trying to be happy. I mean I was alive, Chase was alive, we're here and a marriage is a happy time, I don't want to be sad, sometimes I can't help it but I don't want this whole experience to be months of my crying for my dead parents, I want it to be a bonding with my family I still have and love. I want it to be a happy time where Chase and I plan our day together.

We tasted the other flavors and we needed to come up with one other that would go well and we ended up with a vanilla cake that had raspberry filling and fresh raspberries.

We wanted a little for everyone and then she was going to make pink champagne cupcakes since we wouldn't be having that tier, we would save it for our anniversary.

We told her the colors and she said she would call us with any questions and then Chase and I went off to the sweets shop. We were going to be doing a chocolate fountain and a sweets counter for the kids and after we arranged that it was off to the bar that's part of the company who was catering our wedding.

 We were picking the beer, wine, and signature drinks for the wedding and we would be having a somewhat open bar, they were told to cut off anyone that they knew to have more than a few and our guest knew that they better know their limits, I wasn't going to deal with drunk assholes on my wedding night. I would personally throw them out of my reception and life if they cause a scene.

We chose to do cotton candy martinis because they were sweet, delicious and really freaking cool and the plus side to this day was we got fantastic cake and a nice buzz from tasting the alcohol, I was feeling pretty great right about now as was Chase.

This made me look forward to picking a menu.

After the drinks Rochelle came to pick me up and she had the other two girls in the car, we were driving to the city for the night to get fittings done and Chase would hang with Riley and then come up in the morning to meet us.

"Alright my beautiful fiancé, I'm off to meet the guys." He said and I went on my toes a little bit to give him a kiss goodbye before getting in the car with my girls.