Mortality

Chapter 3: Blamed

Edith cocked a brow and sat up straighter on the bed. "What? CLive, why are you asking that?" she questioned. CLive sighed.

"I mean... would it really be so bad for Alain and me to merge?" he asked.

Edith slowly pushed herself off the bed and stood up. "CLive, you can't be serious. If you do that, it would kill you," she stated.

CLive shook his head and glanced back at her as he set the clean glasses on the counter and hung the dishrag over the curtain rod above the small window by the sink. "No, it wouldn't. I would just become Colin. Is that really such a bad thing?" he asked, his tone slightly started raising but he fought to keep it under control.

Edith frowned and crossed her arms. "This is about the 'Pull', isn't it? Don't listen to it, CLive. Just fight it," she said and stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He frowned back and his shoulders tensed. "...And why do I need to fight it? Why can't I just do what I... what it wants?" he said with a tight voice.

Edith's eyes softened. "It's just the Pull talking, CLive. Ignore it," she said.

CLive tried to resist, but he couldn't stop the quiet growl that rumbled in his chest. "No, this is me talking. And I'm saying that I want to be whole," his voice was stern and almost threatening, making Edith retract her hand from his shoulder.

She huffed and glared at him. "You are whole, CLive. You don't need Alain in order to realize that," she said with both desperation and anger.

CLive scoffed and shook his head. His frustration and growing anger masking the pain in his eyes. "As much as I wish that were the case, it's not. I'm not whole and I never will be unless I merge my EPC with Alain's."

Edith growled and glared up at him. "No, CLive! I won't just let you... I can't lose you again!" she shouted, her EPC starting to feel a bit warmer.

CLive pushed off from the counter. "You wouldn't be losing me! I would just be more of myself than I am now! You don't know what living with this damn Pull is like!" he barked and stared down at her, feeling the heat of his own EPC rising.

"But you wouldn't be yourself! You would be Colin! If you merge with Alain and become a completely different person, I can't promise that I will feel the same way for you! I don't want anything to change!" Tears started stinging her eyes.

The heat in his EPC grew until it began to burn and he snapped. He was unable to process the thought of what to say next, instead, he just said it before realizing the implications behind his words.

"Well if that's how you feel, then maybe it was a mistake loving you in the first place!"

The burning pain immediately stopped, and his EPC grew cold. He didn't have time to register what he had said before noticing the look on her face. Her anger was replaced by something else entirely. Something unplaceable. It looked almost like grief, but there was still fury, hurt, and overall betrayal in her ocean eyes, blurred by the tears she hid by turning her gaze to the floor.

CLive choked over his words and sighed. He tried desperately to process his thoughts, to think of what to say or do to take it back. Anything to fix this. But there was too much running through his head and his emotions were too erratic to allow him to even begin trying to think clearly.

"...doll, I—"

"...Don't call me that." There was deep hurt behind her words, somewhere. But it was too far to reach.

She shook her head and took a deep breath. "...You have a scavenge run to go on. There's a war going on out there, after all..." She took a deep breath and turned around, reaching down and grabbing his backpack.