The Princes of Ayodhya-The Ramayan Through Short Stories

The Swayamvar-Numero Uno

         Sita simply stared outside. She remembered doing the same thing on the night before she chose her husband. The night before Ram broke that bow. The night before her life changed, it seemed, all for the better. She put her hand under her chin. It was a half moon, a waxing gibbous. She liked to think that it was only half full because she was not quite yet united with her other half. She smiled.

Sita often felt ashamed that she had ever thought so terribly of Ram. That he may never show up because he was too proud of himself, or that she wasn't good enough for him. She swallowed as she felt the emotions bubbling up her throat again. Only this time, it wasn't a sorrow filled sob she was choking down. It was a giddy giggle. She heard footsteps behind her and whirled around.

Shrutakirti stood there, smiling tiredly. "Are you excited, didi? I am. I've been dreaming of this occasion for ages." Shrutakirti stood next to Sita, and they both smiled at each other. "I wonder, Sita didi, what married life must be like. It's not all fun and games, I know, but it must be better than having no one at all." Sita frowned, pulling Shrutakirti closer to herself.

"Hey! You have me and Mandavi, and Urmila too. Never say that you are along." Sita looked up at the moon again, its illuminating light shining on her face. "I think married life would be nice, especially to someone whom you love. No one can leer at you anymore, and I suppose most every moment would be spent in pure bliss." Shurtakirti shrugged.

"Yes, I suppose so." she kicked the base of the balcony railing a bit dejectedly. "It feels like we will always be under spotlight, and that our husbands will be holding us to the highest standard, as the princesses of such a large kingdom as Kosala. I wonder if the people in Ayodhya will judge us. If they will feel different about us. Especially you, Sita didi." Shrutakirti looked up, her lip quivering. "I wonder if they won't like you Sita didi, and I feel horrible." She wrapped her arms tightly around her sister.

Sita was touched. Urmila was her confidant, the one who always followed her around, the one she didn't feel completely comfortable without. Mandavi was always being reprimanded by her, and they often talked about and laughed about things together. Here was Shrutakirti, the youngest, often the forgotten among the four, worried about her! Sita swallowed hard.

"Ram loves me, Shurtakirti. Enough, I think, that he won't let the people's judgment ruin his love for me. Yes, I will be the Maharani, some day, but I don't think that I will be put under any large spotlight until that day comes, when Ram is crowned. God wish Raja Dasharath a long life. Besides," she pouted at Shrutakirti. "You don't think I'm so terrible that people will judge me, do you?" Shurtakirti looked horrified, and quickly shook her head, her eyes widening.

"No, no didi! You are the best of all four of us. I just-I," Shurtakirti sighed. "It seems Lakshman bhaiyya's pessimistic nature has travelled onto me, for I worry, Sita didi. Women are constantly placed under a judgment that man is not. Those people, they love Yuvraj Ram. If you accidentally do anything wrong, they might-I don't know!" Shrutakirti sank her head into her hands as if ashamed of even bringing it up.

"I think," Sita began. "That I will never do anything against Ram, and so they will never look down upon me." Shrutakirti looked up grinning. "I think so too, didi! See, I was just being pessimistic, such things should not be spoken about," The atmosphere was lightened up again, and Sita turned back towards the moon.

Ram stared at the exact same light, suspended in the sky, wanting so very suddenly to slap himself. How could he have ever thought about not attending the wedding? How could such a stupid, impure thought ever cross his mind that he would bow down Kosala's head by thinking that he would not be able to lift the bow? It was not possible!