GOD'S KILLER | harry styles

𝟰𝟳 - 𝗔𝗹𝗲𝘅 | 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽

I just wanted to know how it felt. Love, I mean. And not family love or friendship love, romantic love. Being able to walk up to someone and kiss them and rail the fuck out of them and comfort them and cuddle and watch movies and just... fuck, everything.

Harry mentioned how Natalie hadn't said a word on the way back and I was feeling concerned all over again. I was truly scared of what she could do, she sure was reckless and I didn't even want to imagine how she would act now. She would clearly want revenge.

It was currently six a.m. and I was wide awake. Alissa was laying next to me, on the far end of the bed and with her face buried into the pillow. She looked cute when she slept, I loved how her cheeks would go pink every time.

But I was restless. I heard some shifting on the other room earlier, but I knew it wasn't sex this time. Someone there was as awake as I was, I was sure I had heard footsteps multiple times before.

It wasn't long till I made the decision of getting up. My muscles were strained and my whole body was sore, I don't even know why. I supposed I could walk a bit to relax. I wasn't even sure what had me so tense.

My throat was bone-dry, which was why I decided to head to the kitchen for a glass of water. But I was stopped in my tracks by a soft voice coming from the living room, a voice calling out my name.

"Alex?" Natalie whispered, scaring the shit out of me.

She sounded hoarse and full of pain, but her expression was far from normal. There wasn't a single emotion flashing her face and it was starting to freak me out. Her eyes, even bloodshot, looked cold and off.

"Natalie," I cleared my throat, furrowing my eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Sure, are you?" She nodded, rolling her lips to the inside of her mouth.

Yeah, she was definitely not okay.

"You can talk to me." I walked towards her, taking place on the couch next to her.

I made sure to keep my distance from her though. I knew Harry wasn't around to watch, but his jealousy was terrifying. Around Natalie, he was a huge softie. Around me... I think he wanted to chop my dick off.

"I don't need to talk to anyone, I'm fine." Her voice turned cold. Fuck, her words were so harsh that it was scaring me.

"You're not." I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm fine," Nat covered her eyes with her arm, turning her face away from me. "I'm... fine."

"Hey, come here." I whispered, making sure she was okay with it when I pulled her in for a hug. "It's okay to cry."

"But I don't want to cry!" She raised her tone a bit, muffling against my neck.

Her hands were fisted against my chest and I was surprised by how tiny she was. She felt breakable under my touch, even though I knew 'breakable' wasn't exactly the word to describe Natalie Perkins.

"Sometimes it's just necessary." I shrugged, stroking her hair.

"I don't know, it's just... I'm telling my brain to stop crying but it just doesn't... it doesn't work." She cried. "It used to, but it doesn't anymore."

Fuck, she was really crying now. I never knew how to manage myself to comfort someone, let alone a girl. The little experience I had came from the many times my sister got her heart broken, but still, she was too proud to let herself cry more than once or twice a week.

"Crying doesn't mean you're weak," I whispered. "Never. We even cry when we're born. Crying means we're still alive. For some reason, we're still alive."